


The Place In Me That You Can Call Home

by orphan_account



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, KARMA IS HURTING A LOT OK, KARUNAGI, Loneliness, M/M, i discontinued it, i really hate this story, idk the angry tomato child is v lonely, karmagisa - Freeform, maybe a trigger warning??, nagisa blushes at EVERYTHING omfg, past bullying, send love, so um, writing at 2am creates this mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sorry for what I've done. I'm sorry for not being what you wanted. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations. I'm sorry for not being as well-behaved as him or as smart as her. I'm sorry for disappointing you. I'm sorry for existing.</p><p>I'm sorry.</p><p>[discontinued]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one; warm

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, I started writing this story at like 2am on my phone, so the first few chapters are VERY short. I may make them longer as the plot gets deeper, but I am actually trying out a new writing style for this, so it's a little difficult. Stories that show my usual writing style are The Photography Club and a Karmagisa one-shot I'm writing at the moment, so keep an eye out for that I guess?
> 
> ^that was painful to write, I swear I'm not an emotionless husk devoid of humour. Anyways, enjoy this!

Karma Akabane sighed, letting out a mix of frustration and his general boredom in one single breath. Class seemed to be dragging on for hours, and he was left wondering why he hadn't skipped when he had the chance. Now, Koro-sensei was chuckling for no particular reason, writing sums for the class on the blackboard at some unreasonable speed. Maths was Karma's best subject, so he didn't bother to raise from his position; left arm draped across his desk with his head leaning on top of it, right arm trailing by his side. 

"Yo, Karma," Terasaka hissed from his desk on Karma's right. "The octopus is staring at you weirdly, so I'd watch out before he 'takes care' of you again." Terasaka sniggered slightly at the memories of when Karma had first joined Class-E. Karma narrowed his eyes slightly at the larger boy and clicked his tongue in annoyance, before turning his gaze back to the front of the room where their alien teacher was stood. He was indeed looking at Karma, an aura of mischief hanging around him. 

Not a good sign. 

Deciding to avoid any embarrassment that would be caused by Koro-sensei 'taking care' of him again, Karma picked up his pencil and lazily began scribbling down the answers to the questions on the board. 

Whilst Maths was a subject that Karma found easy, he often got distracted whilst working through the calculations. It was monotone. This would equal that and that just had to be divided by this. Over and over again.

It wasn't until after the mid-term exams, in which Karma had, in his eyes, failed, when he realised that Maths could be difficult. Well, he had spent many of his younger years knowing that, but, when he had opened up his extra prep books, a new wave of numbers and equations washed over him, almost drowning him. 

But these sums weren't like that. These sums were easy, just like they should be. 

It would be rather disappointing if, after all these years of endless studying, he still wasn't up to the standard he had set. 

Karma set down his pencil, climbed out of his chair and strolled casually towards the front of the classroom. He handed the sheet of perfect equations to his teacher, before jokingly taking a bow. 

"I know, I know, Koro-sensei; I'm truly too amazing. It must be hard having a student as great as this." An amused smirk made its way onto Karma's face as he rose. He turned on his heel and slowly made his way to the door, one hand in his pocket whilst the other ran through his red hair. "I'll be off now, since I probably got them all right, as per usual. See ya!" Karma waved somewhat jauntily at the rest of the class, though turned to face a specific blue-haired boy, just as he was walking through the door. "Same place as usual, Nagisa. Don't be late!" He dragged out his last few words almost teasingly, but Nagisa just nodded and smiled warmly at him. 

It was always such a mystery to Karma. How could someone possibly hold so much warmth in a single facial expression? Surely it defied some scientific law. It was that smile that held his gaze for just one second longer before he exited the room, sliding the door shut behind him. 

The corridor was stiflingly hot, due to the lack of air conditioner. In the class room, they had had the windows open wide to let in the summer breeze, but the air in the corridor was just hung with humidity. As a person with a naturally high temperature anyway, Karma could rarely feel the heat, but some days in the middle of summer were really too much. 

Karma picked up his pace, pushing both of his hands deeper into his trouser pockets and flicking his vibrant hair out of his face. 

Soon enough, he was out of the poorly-built structure and the bright sun was beaming down onto his body, however, the heat was more pleasant compared to the stuffiness of the indoors. The birds were chirping merrily from their places in the trees, whilst cicadas could also be heard. Apparently cicadas were a sign of summer - Kurahashi had been speaking about it only a short while ago. 

Shaking away his useless thought process, Karma took a seat at the base of a large tree, humming at the comfort and the warmth, making him feel like he'd just seen a thousand of Nagisa's smiles. A sharp noise signifying a text caused Karma to snap open his eyes, immediately taking his phone from his pocket and checking the message. 

'Remember we're on our way home next week. Don't do anything stupid in the meantime.'

Karma sighed lightly, tousling his hair with his long fingers before replying. 

'Got it. Looking forward to seeing you.'

Another message came through almost immediately, not even giving Karma enough time to put his phone back into his pocket. 

When he saw it, a frown etched onto his face. The boy wasn't exactly sure why he had expected anything different, but it didn't stop the pang he felt in his heart. 

'Don't.'


	2. two; instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Karma is very broken

"Karma! You ready to go?" Karma looked up from his phone, feeling a lazy smile grow on his face as the small, blue-haired boy that he knew as his close friend, Nagisa, ran over to greet him. Nagisa was waving excitedly and beaming up at Karma, though he had to lean on his knees when he reached his taller friend, panting slightly. Karma's eyes glinted with mischief, and he swiftly reached forward, swiping the hair ties out of Nagisa's hair so that it fell down around his shoulders. The smaller boy gasped and reached up to feel around his head. 

"Aw, come on, don't look so upset! I like your hair!" Karma spoke in his usual tone; soft but with more than a hint of amusement. As Nagisa's expression turned from shock to annoyance - cheeks puffed out and eyebrows furrowed, which, Karma had to admit he found rather adorable - Karma relented and snapped the hair ties onto his wrist, sitting back on the grass. Nagisa's expression changed again, this time to confusion, but Karma just gestured for him to sit in the space in between his outstretched feet. When the smaller boy followed the instruction, Karma reached up to his long, soft hair and took it into his hand. In just a few moments, Nagisa's hair was back in its usual style. 

"Was that just to mess with me or are you planning something? You rarely do things without a reason." Nagisa turned to face Karma, patting his hair almost nervously as he did so. Karma leaned back on the heels of his hands and yawned, shaking his head as he did so. 

"Instinct." He shrugged, grinning at Nagisa impishly and winking. Crimson leaked into Nagisa's face, causing the smaller boy to dip his head and face his feet. 

"Um, we should get going..." Nagisa rubbed his nose lightly and inspected the grass around where he stood. When Karma didn't reply, the blue-haired boy finally brought his eyes around to meet Karma's golden ones. 

Karma's eyes had always fascinated Nagisa. The way they sparkled and danced whenever he was teasing Terasaka. How they slanted dangerously when he challenged Asano. That glint of determination when he failed at killing Koro-sensei. 

However, what Nagisa really loved about Karma's eyes was when they were looking straight at him. Then, they would be warm and teasing, like a sunset with a smile. 

"Nagisa? You alright there?" An all but mocking smirk adorned Karma's face as he waved his fingers before Nagisa's own big, blue eyes. 

"Ah!" Nagisa had been so lost in thought - and, admittedly, in the golden warmth that was Karma's eyes - that he hadn't noticed the taller boy so close to his own face. "Uh, um, yeah! I'm good! Good-a-roonie!" Karma raised an eyebrow, his lips shifting between a taunting smirk and a circle of confusion. In the end, he simply chuckled and turned away, placing his hands in his pockets. 

"If you say so, then I'll go ahead and believe you." There was something rather content about his expression as Karma walked away. When he was like this, unguarded and cheerful, those were the times that Nagisa really loved being with Karma. 

Karma. The boy that never seemed to be able to disappear from Nagisa's life. 

Karma. The boy whose figure grew smaller and smaller with each stride as Nagisa gazed after him. 

Kar- Wait. 

"Karma! Wait for me! I only have short legs, surely this isn't fair!" The redhead turned and poked his tongue out at the boy behind him. 

"Catch me if you can, Nagisa!" His words were drawn out, but light and airy. Despite what he said, Karma did slow his pace slightly, waiting for Nagisa to catch up. 

To Karma, Nagisa was like the embodiment of happiness. He smiled and laughed and, if he were ever in trouble, he would quickly get himself out of it, so that he could smile and laugh once more. 

When Nagisa was just a few feet behind, Karma turned to face forwards again. There was something on his face that didn't belong there; a frown. His eyebrows were furrowed in a form of concern, and his eyes held sadness.

That was an expression that Nagisa had never seen on Karma's face before, nor had anyone in Class E. 

And Karma was determined not to let them. 

"Karma? Are you okay? You stopped walking." Nagisa was frowning. He was worried. Automatically, a grin switched onto Karma's face. 

"I'm great!" When Nagisa's face didn't smooth out, Karma altered his expression to a more playful one. "Is someone worried about me, hmm?" At that, Nagisa forgot his concern to embarrassment, blushing madly. It was an old tactic of Karma's: if you make somebody uncomfortable, they'll forget everything. "Come on, let's get you to your house." Nagisa nodded, attempting to calm his blush, and the pair continued walking. 

It wasn't long before they had reached Nagisa's house. After everything with his mother had settled down, Nagisa had been a lot happier in his home. The small boy smiled gleefully at Karma as he all but skipped into his house. Karma waved until his friend had left his sight, then returned his hand to the pocket of his trousers. 

It was a long while before Karma's large house came into view. The house was situated on the top of a hill, but luckily the area wasn't busy, so Karma didn't have to put up with the patronisation of cars whizzing by whilst he walked. To him, there wasn't much point in going back there. It's not like anybody was waiting for him. 

Still, he had video games and there was studying he could do. Besides that, he was hungry, so he could cook too. 

It was almost 5pm by that time, so Karma began filling in the hours from 5pm to 10pm. 5 hours to fill, all by himself. 

"Well, I can start cooking as soon as I get home, and if I make something complicated then I can take almost an hour just cooking..." As Karma was just finishing his sentence, his stomach rumbled loudly. "Scrap that - half an hour maximum." A car flew past him, blasting loud rap music. Karma wrinkled his nose. "So 5:30, huh? It'll only take about five minutes to tidy up afterwards... Maybe I'll watch some TV." By that point, Karma had reached his house and was walking down the path. Perfectly trimmed grass was on either side of him, a few plants lining the edge. Reaching the door, Karma turned his key in the lock and entered the house. 

The atmosphere was cold. 

It was a stark contrast to the warmth that Karma had felt when he was with Nagisa. 

The only thing that made Karma grateful for the current atmosphere of his house was the knowledge that he knew it would only get colder a week later. 

Again, her sharp words ran in his head. Still, the most basic one was the one he couldn't keep out of his head. 

'Don't.'

The boy, instead of cooking dinner like he had planned, flopped down onto the stiff, leather couch in the living room. There were so many thoughts running through his mind; he couldn't keep track. 

'On our way home next week.'

'Don't do anything stupid.'

'Next week.'

'Stupid.'

'Don't.'

"Agh, shut up!" Karma grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it forwards, as hard as he could. He heard something shatter, but didn't particularly care at that time. There was nothing he could do, anyway. What was done was done. He laughed bitterly, making his way into the kitchen. "Ha! Guess you could just say it was instinct." With that, he swept up all of the glasses and plates that stood in the draining board and threw them on the floor. 

Glass shards carpeted the kitchen tiles, making them appear distorted. 

Karma smiled. 

Then, he sunk onto the ground, knees drawn to his chest and his face tilted towards the ceiling. Glass scratched his palms as he placed them on either side of his body, but he didn't even flinch. 

There wasn't any point. 

'Don't.'

There wasn't any point at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this was meant to be fluff


	3. three; strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay HELLO! Before the chapter begins, I would just like to say a massive THANK YOU for 300+ hits! I didn't expect that at all, like why would somebody click on a story with such an awful summary (I'm getting on changing that by the way), a title literally inspired by a super old Cheryl Cole song (Fight For This Love, if you were unaware) and a completely new author? It's a mystery to me, but thank you for doing it, the fact that people are reading and actually ENJOYING this story makes me so happy! Also, to everyone who left kudos and to VioletteWhest (I think I got that right?? I'm sorry if I didn't) for the lovely comment! 
> 
> Now, I didn't update this for a LOOOOONG time, but I just got so tired and caught up in my school project that I didn't even realise how long it had been, and for that I apologise. In an attempt to make up for it, I have written a chapter as long as the ones I write for The Photography Club (4000+ words) and split it into two chapters. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon (either later today or Thursday/Friday, but I WILL update this week at least) and, for now, I just hope you can enjoy! Thank you for reading!
> 
> EDIT: I CALLED IT "WARM" WHEN IT'S MEANT TO BE "STRANGE" AGHHHHHH SAVE ME FROM MY SINS

"Yo, Nagisa! D'ya want to go to the karaoke place after school?" Sugino questioned, the boy's natural cheerfulness in his tone. "Kayano, Nakamura, Kanzaki, Okuda, Isogai and Maehara are coming too." Karma flicked his sharp gaze over to where Sugino was stood in front of Nagisa's desk, grinning at the small boy hopefully. At his question, Nagisa giggled slightly and replied with amusement evident in his voice.

"I'd love to, but can I ask why we're going? I mean, are we celebrating something or what?" Sugino looked shocked for a moment, but then laughed along with Nagisa. 

"Of course we're celebrating! It's Friday!" With his reply, the two boys began laughing harder, Nagisa especially. Karma observed the way that Nagisa's legs were only just long enough to reach the floor, and so swung around as he rocked with laughter. At the sight, the tall, red haired boy began to chuckle too. 

"Hmm?" Nagisa turned just to see an beguiling smile playing on his redheaded friend's face. "Ah, Karma! You should come with us!" A surprised expression burst onto Karma's features before he regained his composure and drawled,

"Hmm, does Nagisa want me to serenade him with my beautiful voice?" Nagisa jumped as his cheeks were painted with crimson. "Ooh, he's blushing! That's a definite 'yes!'" Karma laughed as Nagisa's blush only grew brighter. 

"Karma, quit teasing me! Do you want to come with us or not?" Karma weighed up his options. It was Friday, and  _they_  were back on Tuesday, so he could do preparations through the weekend and still have time for perfecting things on Monday night. Therefore, he could afford to go out. 

"Sure, I'll go." Karma turned to Sugino. "Straight after school?" The other boy nodded affirmatively before walking to his desk and taking a seat. Just as he'd done so, Koro-sensei appeared from the window, chatting animatedly with Ritsu about some more efficient way to view student records. 

"Good morning, class!" The class greeted him and then settled in their seats. "Today we'll be continuing our studying on all of your weakest subjects, so open up your books after roll call and I'll go round for individual tutoring." 

Karma yawned and leaned back in his seat. When his name was called, he answered lazily with a short "yeah," before letting his eyes shut softly. 

Shortly after he had done so, Karma sensed the presence of an object near his face. Immediately, the boy reached up and grabbed the object, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles went white. 

"Hmm, Terasaka?" Karma hummed, opening his golden eyes to flick his gaze Terasaka's way. "Did you just try to throw an eraser at me?" He uncurled his clenched hand, displaying the small, white eraser. Terasaka gave a low note of laughter. 

"Didn't want you letting your guard down is all - you're meant to be some assassination pro, after all," Terasaka explained, taking the eraser off of Karma's palm. 

"I see." Karma raised an eyebrow and smirked. He leaned forward onto his desk then, resting his chin on the hand that had previously been holding Terasaka's make-do missile. 

Truthfully, Karma was always on guard. Constantly ready to fight, prepared for a challenge. He preferred to talk to softer people like Okuda and Nagisa for that very reason - they didn't challenge him. Well, he had used to feel threatened by Nagisa, but now he felt that they were on an equal level. 

Although, when Karma was around Okuda, it was different to Nagisa. With Okuda, he'd mainly talk about studies, assassination attempts and their classmates. However, with Nagisa, Karma believed that he could talk about anything. 

All but one thing, of course. 

Karma's expression hardened as he thought about it. 

That... That thing was his weak spot. The one thing that hurt him more than anything else. 

They hurt him more than anything else. 

Their eyes were soulless and cruel. Always.

"And that's the end of roll call! Take out your books and I'll come round once I've collected some textbooks from another room," Koro-sensei instructed, tearing Karma from his dark thoughts. 

For the rest of the lesson period, Koro-sensei helped each student with their weakest subject and, for once, Karma actually payed attention to the things that the alien teacher was saying. Karma didn't really have any particular subjects in which he lacked intelligence, but the one he found most irritating was Japanese, so he tended to opt out of those particular lessons. However, then he could only think of one thing.

 _What would Nagisa do if he knew about them?_  He pondered that one subject endlessly, turning over various possibilities in his mind. However, there was only one outcome. 

_Nagisa wouldn't see me as a strong person any more._

Ever since they had met, Nagisa always appeared to look up to Karma - literally and figuratively. Karma could ace any test, knock down any bully and never let anybody talk down to him. 

Except for  _them._

With them, it was different. Karma couldn't simply punch them, like he would with any other person who treated him like they did. He couldn't figure out their formula, or crack their code. He was just...

"Karma? You seem distracted, what's wrong?"

_Powerless._

"Karma!"

"Huh?" Karma's head jerked up in shock. In front of his desk stood Koro-sensei, his large smile somewhat edged with concern. His afterimages had disappeared, causing the attention of the entire class to be solely focused on the tall redhead sat at the back of the classroom. 

"Normally you'd have tried to assassinate me by now, Karma." When Karma hadn't replied with a smart comment, Koro-sensei had only grown more worried. 

_There's no time for assassinations._

"Karma, are you alright? You didn't seem yourself yesterday, either," Nagisa began to question him anxiously, eyebrows tilted upwards in uncertain distress. 

_I need to study._

"I'm fine. Koro-sensei, could you help me through this module? I was struggling with a few of these formulas." Karma took a Science textbook from his bag, placing it on his desk and flipping it open to a certain page. As he did so, the class made a collective noise of shock. No sarcasm, no teasing. Karma actually asked for help. 

Something wasn't right. 

The gaze of the class was fixed on Karma, and Karma's gaze was fixed on the formulas written in his textbook.

"Koro-sensei? Are you going to teach me or not?" The teacher in question promptly jumped to attention, setting up his afterimages again. 

The lesson continued that way, a strange atmosphere clouding the room. Every so often, Nagisa would steal a glance at Karma to check how he was doing, but he was unable to see much more than red hair past the blurs of his teacher. 

When the lesson ended, the small boy moved to approach his friend, whose nose was still buried deep in a textbook. 

Something very strange was happening to Karma, and Nagisa didn't like it one, single bit. 

"I won't even be able to talk to him after school because of the karaoke!" Nagisa grumbled to himself in irritation. Beside him, the boy sensed movement and turned to face the cause. When he had done so, Nagisa came face-to-face with Kayano Kaede, his green-haired best friend since the girl had arrived at school. 

"Nagisa! Sugino told me you're coming to the karaoke with us! Are you ready to go?" Kayano beamed up at Nagisa, and, in turn, he rubbed the back of his neck and laughed somewhat nervously.

"Well, I kinda wanted to talk to Karma, but he seems a little distracted right now," Nagisa replied quietly, gesturing over to where his friend sat at the back of the class. Karma was still studying, face guarded by the bangs of his bright hair. After gazing wistfully at his figure for a few moments, Nagisa turned back to face Kayano, offering a weak smile.

"Mm, he's not the same as usual," Kayano muttered, nodding. "I'm worried about him too. Would you like me to make up an excuse to tell the rest of the group so that you can talk to him before the karaoke?" The girl turned to Nagisa with a face full of concern and the boy smiled with gratitude at her kind offer.

"That'd be great, thanks Kayano!" Nagisa waved as the girl nodded and began to move away. "We'll catch up with you at the karaoke place later," He called, waving until Kayano was fully out of the room. Nagisa waited impatiently while the rest of the class trickled out, leaving just him and Karma in the classroom. Due to studying entirely engulfing Karma's attention, the redhead hadn't noticed the lack of students in the room until Nagisa wafted a hand between his textbook and his face.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Nagisa teased, giggling softly as Karma looked up to meet his gaze. 

When sky blue eyes locked with those of golden honey, the owners were both held in a momentary trance. In the few moments that passed, a surge of ardour encircled their bodies, hugging close to them like the unnoticed compassion of a warm, glowing fire. To the people alone in the room, the silence went unacknowledged, their senses being numbed by the inexplicable burn of fervour.

The noise of a ball bouncing on the outside wall of the building and notes of laughter broke the atmosphere, and the two boys jumped at the sound, cheeks aflame. Nagisa promptly jerked his head downwards to stare fixedly at the floor, seemingly wishing for it to swallow him whole, whilst Karma turned his head to the side, guarding his glowing, red face with his hands.

"Uh, so, what did you want?" Karma took a chance to look at his smaller friend, though sharply glanced away again when Nagisa lifted his head. The blue-haired boy took a few seconds of stuttering and stumbling over his words before replying.

"Well, it's just that you haven't been acting like yourself for a little while, so I was wondering if you were alright," Nagisa replied earnestly. "Are you?"

_He can't know._

Karma's face displayed only surprise for a second.

_Act like yourself, idiot!_

But then he laughed.

_Now make up an excuse._

"Nah, I was just out in the cold sometime last week, so I might have a cold or something coming on." Karma rubbed the back of his neck and grinned at his friend. "Even people as beautiful as me can get sick, Nagisa." He winked, causing a blush to crawl up Nagisa's face, mouth open with a feeble retort hanging off his lips.

_And he's uncomfortable again._

"B-Being beautiful has nothing to do with sickness, Karma!" Nagisa did his utmost to retaliated weakly, unable to process thoughts properly due to embarrassment.

_He's forgotten._

"So you're calling me beautiful?" Karma smirked, standing from his seat and looming over the flustered boy, arms folded. At the proximity, Nagisa flushed even more vibrantly, even though he had previously thought that to be impossible, since he was able to feel the burn of ignominy. "I can't blame you - I mean, just look at me!"

(AN: Sorry if I didn't use ignominy correctly but definitions are vAGUE)

"Karma!" Nagisa whined, unable to control his embarrassment any longer, and pushing the boy away as far as he could, which was rather difficult; compared to Karma's strength, Nagisa was literally just skin and bones. "Cut it  _out!"_

"Fine, fine," Karma agreed, waving a hand about to halt Nagisa's actions. "I got it." He nodded, and Nagisa stepped back, his face returning to its normal shade. "Anyway, what about this karaoke? I must say I've never been more excited to serenade someone before." Nagisa's blush immediately returned at Karma's teasing words, flapping his arms about and accidentally hitting the redhead more than once. 

The taller boy just laughed then, grabbing Nagisa's wrists and putting them down by his sides. Once he had packed up his school bag, the two boys left the building, laughing and joking around, just like usual.

_He doesn't need to know._


	4. four; celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a Wattpad account, my name is spookydragneeltrash and I posted an Author's Note chapter, so, if you would be so kind as to read it, all you need to do is go onto my account, click on this story and go down to the chapter titled "Author's Note". 
> 
> Thank you sososo much for 600 hits! That's actually INSANE! I really hope that you're all actually enjoying this story, and I would really appreciate it if any of you commented! Thank you to valerie for your sweet comment, it really made my day!
> 
> Also, Nectorism promised me that she would update her story if I updated mine so, here you go!
> 
> I would like to apologise before any of you read the chapter for the wait, for not writing the serenade scene into this chapter, and for just how generally rubbish it is. I hope you can still somewhat enjoy it, though. Thank you for reading!

Nagisa ambled along with a serene smile set on his face whilst Karma took long, lazy strides as they made their way down the street, holding a lazy, yet somewhat amiable, conversation. The boys had found a shortcut near their school, so their rather long journey had been cut down, much to their relief. Thanks to the dramatic shortening of their walk, Nagisa was sure that whatever excuse Kayano had made up for the pair would be enough to cover them.

"So, what song do you want me to serenade you with, Nagisa dearest?" Karma took a hand from behind his head to poke Nagisa's cheek with his index finger. In turn, the smaller boy only sighed, used to the teasing by that point.

"Oh, you know me," Nagisa responded jokingly. "I'm a big fan of the old-fashioned songs." The pair chuckled and Karma let one arm fall unceremoniously to his side, wrapping the other around Nagisa's shoulders tightly. As he did so, Nagisa's face went bright scarlet, causing Karma to chuckle, red head leant close to Nagisa's blue one.

"Hmm," The tall boy hummed thoughtfully. "So are we talking cassette-player old or just flared-pants old?" Nagisa giggled, a slight blush still visible on his face due to the proximity.

"You know, I like that one that goes all 'never gonna give you u-'" The blue-eyed boy began, before he was cut off by Karma's hand slapping over his mouth. Nagisa immediately burst into laughter and clawed at the hand stopping him from full-on cackling, which drew the attention of other people near them on the street.

"Nagisa, did you just  _rickroll_ me?" Karma's mouth hung open, unable to believe that the tables had turned, so that Nagisa was teasing him instead. He removed his hand, turning his shocked gaze to his small friend, and saw the other boy bent at the sides, in peals of laughter at his friend's expression. More people began to turn around and stare at him, to which Karma glared. When they met his fiery glower, most of the crowd backed off and continued walking down the street. Only a small gaggle of schoolgirls were left, giggling and whispering to eachother. In an attempt to hear their words, Karma subtly edged closer to the group and strained his ears.

"Did you see them before?" One girl spoke excitedly in a hushed tone, fists clenched tightly. 

_"Yes!"_ Another girl responded, a giggle lighting up her quiet voice. "They're  _so cute!"_ She gushed.

"Hey, look at them again - they make purple!" The whole cluster swivelled round, instantly meeting Karma's sharp, slightly confused stare. They gasped, blushing and quickly covering their mouths with their hands.

"What are you talking about?" Karma questioned, slotting his hands casually into his pockets. Whilst the girls stumbled over their words, trying to think of an excuse, Nagisa straightened himself out, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes and stepping over to stand by Karma's side, a concerned look on his face.

"Uh, I... Ah, um..." One bespectacled girl piped up, losing fire as she locked eyes with Karma. Unbeknownst to the redhead, he looked rather intimidating, especially since he naturally held a rather defensive stance.

"W-we weren't talking about you!" A blonde girl clutched tightly onto her friend's arm, letting out a frightened squeak when Karma turned to face her, and hiding behind her hands. "We're sorry!"

Karma raised an eyebrow at the strange behaviour of the girls, and Nagisa cocked his head to the side, wondering what was wrong with them. Before they could even respond, the group had run off, squealing apologies as they left.

"Never gonna run around and desert you," Nagisa muttered, turning his eyes upwards and looking at his tall friend. Karma froze for a second, then met his watchful gaze, an emotionless glass covering over his eyes.

"Nagisa?" The redhead started, face displaying no expression. He then moved so close that he was nose-to-nose with the blue-haired boy, arms folded across his chest and mercury eyes narrowed. Nagisa let out a shocked, high-pitched noise, just quiet enough for Karma to hear. "What has two thumbs and doesn't like being rickrolled?" Karma's voice was low, and he pressed his face ever closer to Nagisa's. The small boy had, in turn, become a blushing, stuttering mess.

"I-"

"So are they gonna kiss or-?" A familiar female voice jolted the two boys out of their moment. Their eyes were wide, and their senses suddenly filled up with noises and sights and smells, although the pair hadn't even realised that they'd zoned out on them.

"They'd better, or I'm suing for real this time!" Another, lower-pitched female voice responded to the dubious question, followed by a loud yawn and a, "Wait, how did I never realise they made purple?" which caused both Nagisa and Karma to jump away from eachother for the second time that day.

"Oh no!" A voice wailed, loud enough for the two boys to recognise as belonging to Kanzaki. Sure enough, when they looked in the direction of her voice, the pretty girl stood there, a crestfallen expression on her face. Beside her, Nakamura and Kayano were hiding behind the sign for the karaoke building, gesturing wildly for their friend to join them instead of just standing in plain sight. "Ah, sorry guys," Kanzaki pushed a piece of her long, black hair behind her ear sheepishly, holding out her hands to help up the other two girls. "I just got a little upset - it really seemed like they were going to kiss."

The girl seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the two red-faced boys could hear her words  _very clearly_ , and were stood in awkwardly stiff positions next to eachother, staring at Kanzaki with wide, alarmed eyes.

_"You're_ upset?" Nakamura exclaimed loudly, more than a hint of annoyance in her tone. "I'm the one who made a bet with Maehara! I have to give that womanizer a tenner now!"

(AN: If you're from a different country to me and don't understand, a tenner is just ten pounds. It's not  _that_ big of an amount of money, but it's just the amount that a student would be annoyed to lose, if that makes any sense whatsoever)

"Hey, Kayano!" From the door of the karaoke, Sugino stepped out, waving to the green-haired girl who was still leaning on the sign, a pout on her face. All three of the girls had expected a kiss, and none were pleased that it hadn't happened. "We were getting bored waiting for you guys, so we started ordering drinks, but obviously Karma and Nagisa aren't here yet. Any idea what they'd want?" The friendly boy stood with his head leaning out of the door, hand resting on the doorframe to keep him balanced.

"Ah, yeah-" Kayano started, but was cut off by the sharp call of Karma, who waved from his place beside Nagisa to get the attention of the group.

"They got a vending machine in there?" Sugino looked up to see the tall redhead, who began walking towards the group with Nagisa in tow. Although slightly shocked, Sugino offered Karma a toothy grin and a nod, waving at the shorter boy at his side. Karma smiled. "Great! I'll get strawberry milk," He said, looking pleased and taking Nagisa by the wrist as he strolled towards the door where Sugino was stood waiting.

Sugino snickered, "I swear, you must be the only delinquent out there that drinks flavoured milk." The girls broke out of their 'Did they hear us? I think they heard us!' frenzy, and laughed along with the boys. 

When they'd finished laughing, the group made their way indoors, greeting Okuda, Isogai and Maehara, who all seemed to be engaged in a game on Maehara's phone. They then crowded around the vending machine, with Kayano instantly getting into a heated debate with... Herself, over whether she should get lemonade or be 'Super Healthy Kayano' and choose water. With input from Nagisa, she bought a bottle of lemonade.

The group parted into smaller bunches, and Karma reconvened with Nagisa, pleased to see his blue-haired friend after the trauma of being hit several times in the face with Nakamura's long hair. After the whole debacle was done with, Karma had decided that he would never grow his hair out longer than the length it was at.

"So, have you decided on a song for serenading me with yet?" Nagisa looked up at Karma with an amused smile, taking a short sip of his juice. Karma chuckled, then dramatically placed his hand on his chest, replacing his natural smirk with a half-mortified expression.

"Nagisa, so forward!" He gasped, twirling around in fake bewilderment. "You've left me unable to respond - I was unaware that our relationship would develop so quickly!" Nagisa laughed, but blushed slightly, softly hitting Karma's arm as a signal for him to stop, or at least be quieter. A few middle-aged businessmen were looking at them, gazes filled with contempt.

"S-sorry," Nagisa mumbled, dipping his head apologetically in their direction.

"Stupid kids," One man grumbled, before turning back to his drink and lapsing into discussion with a male to his left.

Karma slung an arm round Nagisa's small frame, threading his fingers through some of his soft, blue hair and using the other hand to take another drink of his strawberry milk.

"Thanks, Karma," Nagisa spoke quietly, but with sincerity holding strong in his tone. "It's good to know you're here." Karma nodded, lifting his hand from Nagisa's shoulder and patting the shorter boy's head with it affectionately.

"No problem," Karma responded, casual but earnest. The pair were quiet for a moment, before Karma spoke again. "So, to answer your question," He began, and Nagisa glanced up in interest. "I've always thought that there's no better way to get to know someone than to hear them butcher a Bon Jovi song, and I literally know of  _two_ of their songs, so it'll be a case of whichever one is on there." 

They fell into silence again until Nagisa piped up. "What if there's not  _any_ Bon Jovi songs on the machi-"

"There's  _always_ a Bon Jovi song on a karaoke machine," Karma interjected sharply and confidently, causing Nagisa to giggle slightly.

"Hey, slowpokes, come on!" The boys heard the ever-cheerful Sugino calling for them from the far side of the large room, with the rest of their group by an elevator. Out the corner of his eye, Karma saw the man from earlier eyeing them all distastefully again, but he ignored it. People like that weren't worth his time.

_I know who he reminds me of,_ Karma's thoughts cut in, throwing him off. He hadn't thought of him for a while; Nagisa had distracted him.  _Maybe I should go home and starting preparing for them now..._ Karma froze in his tracks for a split-second, but then continued moving towards the elevator again, Nagisa walking quietly beside him.  _No, this is_ my  _time,_ he decided, determination set on his face.

When the two boys reached their friends by the elevator, they all began talking about random things, entering the lift at the same time. Covered by the noise of chatter, Isogai sidled up to Karma's left side, standing with his hands clasped behind his back for a moment or two before opening his mouth to speak.

"Are you feeling alright now, Karma?" Isogai asked, concern laced throughout his entire body. He'd never seen Karma act that way before; he was always so cool and carefree. 

Karma turned to him, slightly shocked, since he didn't consider that anyone would still be thinking about his behaviour in class. There again, Isogai had always been a very older-brother type of friend, so it was likely that he'd been worrying the whole time.

"Yeah, I'm fine now," Karma responded, a smooth smile glossing over his lips. Isogai looked disbelieving for a second, but then smiled back, albeit rather weakly. The elevator made a high-pitched noise to signal that they were at their destination, and the group of classmates stepped out into the karaoke room.

"So what was wrong?" Isogai questioned once he'd left the elevator. Karma instantly stiffened, desperately searching every corner of his mind for an excuse, but nothing came. He opened his mouth then closed it again, eyes wide.

"Karma!" Relief flooded through Karma's body when he heard Nakamura calling him. "Nagisa said you wanted Bon Jovi, and there's literally  _tons_ of his songs on the machine, so which ones do you know?" Karma let short notes of laughter out before heading over to where Nakamura, Kanzaki and Nagisa were sat on a bright red couch, with Nakamura holding onto the remote for the karaoke machine. Maehara and Kayano were raiding the mini-fridge, whilst Sugino seemed to be raving about a baseball match to somebody over the phone. Okuda was pressed against the window at the end of the room, gazing out in awe.

"Hmm, let's see." Karma flopped down beside Nagisa on the couch, instinctively putting an arm round his shoulders, which caused a quiet squeal to be heard from Kanzaki's direction. The redhead reached over to take the remote from Nakamura's hand and began using it to scroll through all the Bon Jovi songs. "Ah!" Karma stopped at one song, selecting it so that the machine displayed the set-up screen. "This one's my favourite!" All of the friends left their separate activities to gather around the crimson couch. 

"Ooh, Karma, you've gotta do vocal warm-ups for this one!" Maehara cheered, taking a gulp of his drink. Sugino laughed and agreed, as did Nakamura, Nagisa and Okuda, who quietly giggled at the look of defeat on Karma's face after she'd done so.

"Agh, okay, okay," Karma sighed, then rested a hand on his throat, throwing the other one up dramatically. "Mi mi mi  _mi!"_ Nakamura promptly dived away from Karma, burying her face in Okuda's shoulder. 

"Right in my  _ear!"_ She groaned, causing everyone to laugh harder than they already had been doing at Karma's obscure vocal range. "Anyway, Karma," Nakamura raised her head and turned towards Karma. "You gonna do your serenade or what?" Karma coughed away his laughter and nodded, standing to get a microphone from beside the karaoke machine.

Suddenly, fear gripped him. A slight tremble found its way into Karma's fingers as he reached out for the microphone, and he gulped.

_Why am I so nervous?_ Karma asked himself, panicking. If his hand started shaking any more than it was, there was no way that the rest of the group wouldn't notice. What if Isogai linked it to his behaviour before and started worrying again? That wouldn't be good - Isogai's the type of person that would tell a teacher if he thought that a classmate was in trouble.

_Wait, do I have stage fright or something? This has never happened before!_ Karma's eyebrows furrowed together, in a mix of negative emotions.  _Or am I just becoming weak?_

Karma resumed his pursuit of the microphone, tightly curling his fingers around it and snatching it up. He attached a wide, cheerful grin to his face and swivelled round, facing his friends. Nagisa's eyes were edged with worry, but Karma just kept smiling, reassuring him.

"Don't you worry, Nagisa!" Karma spoke with a laugh. "I'll make this a serenade to remember!"

_Don't you worry about me, Nagisa._


	5. five; serenade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HELLO SORRY FOR THE KINDA LONG WAIT, BUT AT LEAST I GOT A NEW CHAPTER UP BEFORE NEXT WEEK!! 
> 
> First of all, over 800 reads???????????????? W H A T???????????? WHAT IS THAT WHAT WHY?? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
> 
> Ok, I should keep this short since it's 4AM now that I'm converting this chapter from Wattpad to AO3, but the song is "I'd Die For You" by Bon Jovi, because I wanted something old and I literally cannot emphasise enough how well these lyrics suit Karma. I recommend you listen to the song and/or read the lyrics, because you'll probably see what I mean.
> 
> Also, I have to apologise for how OOC pretty much all the characters are. I'll try and improve, but I'm currently only really focusing on honing my romance-writing skills, but I hope the OOC-ness doesn't bother any of you TOO much. I did my best to up my game in this chapter, and it's the first one of this story that I've actually been proud of, (the first 1000 words at least) so I really hope you all enjoy it, maybe almost as much as I enjoyed writing it. My inspiration was flowing at the time - I wrote the whole thing at like 2AM - so it was actually really satisfying to write!

"Okay, Nakamura," Karma lifted his hand to gesture towards Nakamura, and then to the karaoke machine's remote by her side. "Play the music!" The blonde nodded in response, picking up the remote and scrolling down on the screen until she found the play button. A moment or two of hush passed before a loud guitar burst from the speakers. Karma snickered instinctively as he listened to it, mouthing, "It sounds so old!" to Nagisa. On the couch, the blue-haired boy giggled, bringing one hand up to shield the sound from spreading too far.

As the tune continued to fill the room, Karma tapped his foot, rolling his eyes in over-exaggerated impatience, as though he were waiting to sing. Unknown to the others, his throat was dry and his breaths were shaky. The hand grasping onto the microphone was white-knuckled, but Karma knew that letting his grip falter would cause the nervous quiver in his fingers to become noticeable.

He passed it off, because he had to be his 'usual self', whatever that was, but Karma saw them. Their eyes, staring at him so fixedly. There was no escape. Nowhere to run, or hide from his fears. In that moment, all that Karma Akabane could do was breathe in, breathe out, and accept it.

Accept that he was scared.

However, he didn't let that fear grow. He simply understood it, and let it be, but he refused to let it show. He was an  _assassin,_ for goodness' sake. There was no way that he was going to let a simple serenade destroy him.

The music reached the final few chords before Karma knew that he would have to begin the song, and everyone on and around the couch seemed to perk up as he drew in a breath.

 _Don't let it ruin you,_ Karma instructed himself.  _Don't let them ruin you._

"If you could see inside my heart, then you would understand," Karma began singing, and Nakamura promptly spat out the mouthful of lemonade she had just been about to swallow. Her mouth hung open in disbelief, and she appeared to be somewhat dismayed. Over the music, Karma could just about make out her words.

"What is this?" Nakamura interrogated Okuda, who was by her side. As the smaller girl simply smiled and shrugged, Nakamura whipped her head round to look at Nagisa, her incredulous expression still in place. "Karma's not  _allowed_ to be good at singing; he already bagged literally  _everything else!"_ Nagisa laughed sheepishly, letting his gaze drift back to Karma as Nakamura continued grumbling. "Are you kidding me? I was depending on him to be bad."

Karma grinned and winked at Nagisa, proceeding with the song. "I might not say I'm sorry, yeah, I might talk tough sometimes," Karma visibly flinched, although only momentarily, at the accuracy of the lyric.

 _Ugh, I should've seen that coming,_ He groaned inwardly, but remained smooth and unbothered on the outside. He held eye contact with Nagisa most of the time, making sure to keep his golden orbs friendly and amused, although he had to break the gaze when the lyrics became too well-applied to their relationship. Nagisa seemed to notice his discomfort in those times, but he just stayed quiet, smiling at him with warm content in his soft blue eyes.

The song swept into its second verse, by which a small bead of sweat had begun to form on Karma's forehead. Not from the physical wear, but from how taxing it was on his  _emotions._  The redhead really hadn't wagered for the fact that just standing up in front of everyone had damaged his morale. 

And it confused him. Aside from Sugino's occasional cheer and Maehara's odd whoop, it's not like they were even  _doing_ anything to him, and they certainly weren't jeering at him, but still, he felt so small. There were no scrutinising gazes, or any noses wrinkled in disgust. No lips curled in disapproval, or tugged back to display scornful simpers. It was simply his friends, and Nagisa.

"I might not send you roses, or buy you diamond rings," Karma continued to persevere, keeping his golden gaze locked with Nagisa's sky blue stare for reassurance. "But if I could see inside you, maybe I'd know just who we are," The way that Nagisa made him feel was confusing, in a way that he couldn't even decide if it was good or not, but it was comforting sometimes. Often, Nagisa's presence could cause a sudden faux heart attack, though it could also be described like when consciousness is caught between sleep and wake, just before fully waking up. The moment where everything is still, and peaceful, and warm. For Karma, that moment was bliss. That feeling of his duvet curled softly around his shoulders, and the amenity of his arm fitting snugly beneath his pillow, heated slightly by the pressure of his head leaning on it.

Those were the times that Karma liked best. One may be able to say that, in which case, the times that Karma liked best were the ones he spent with Nagisa. He wouldn't argue with them.

"If it came right down to me and you, you know it's true," Karma sung the last few words of the song, an unrehearsed tenderness laden on his features. "Baby, I'd die for you." With that, Karma swung down into a deep bow, and the group of friends clapped, laughed and cheered. The redhead looked up with a proud grin, and he dipped his head in Nagisa's direction, offering a hand. "So, did I meet your standards?" 

Nagisa giggled, tilting his head as he smiled up at Karma with a shimmer of serenity in his large eyes. "Yes, thank you," He replied, amusement practically dancing through his voice, then jokingly added, "I may be obliged to ask for another song sometime."

"Oh, it'd be my pleasure," Karma quipped with a chuckle. Nakamura groaned and rolled her eyes in false irritation.

"C'mon, lovebirds," She chided. "You can save your flirting for later." The two boys laughed genuinely, although Nagisa's cheeks gained a rosy tint. Karma settled back on the couch in between Nakamura and Nagisa, slinging his arm round the latter and propping his feet up on top of one another.

"Ooh, hey," Maehara reached forward, stealing the machine's remote from Nakamura's loose grip. "I wanna choose the next song, then I can do a song with Isogai!" The dark-haired boy in mention instantly grew flustered, a rare occasion. At his bats on the head and weak reasoning of 'I never signed up for this!', Maehara just laughed, brushing him off.

"Maehara, I don't  _want_ to sing!" Isogai was pleading at that point, whereas Maehara just continued searching for a song. "It's not really my forte..." He trailed off, seeming somewhat embarrassed.

"Woah now,  _hold on!"_ Karma dramatically held out the hand that wasn't on Nagisa's shoulder, displaying the palm as a sign for Isogai to stop talking. "Something that the ultimate male  _can't_ do? Now this is the quality content I'm here for!" 

After several more minutes of Isogai insisting he really  _couldn't_ sing, Karma insisting that he  _could,_ and Maehara cheering about how he had found the perfect song, Maehara and Isogai both took a microphone each and stood in front of the group. 

Isogai sighed, then turned to the screen to see which song he would have to sing. Just as he'd frozen in horror, Maehara began playing the song, grinning evilly in Isogai's direction and mouthing "With actions!".

From the angle he had been sitting at, Karma hadn't been able to see the screen and immediately burst into laughter as the first few beats of "Tongue Twister" blared out. Isogai put his head in his hands, emitting what sounded to be a low wail of despair.

And so, the boys sung the whole song, complete with actions. By the end of it, most of the group were on the floor, laughing with tears streaming down their faces.

"Oh, wow," Nakamura gasped out, attempting to catch her breath after laughing for so long. "That was truly something." That caused Nagisa to break into another burst of laughter, which then spurred on Karma and then Sugino, until they were all cackling once again.

"Okay, okay, who's next?" Nagisa asked when the group quietened down. Nakamura raised her hand, claiming that it was only right that she went next, and then she was followed by Sugino. Okuda, Kayano and Kanzaki all sung a song by an idol group, and then the whole group did a song together.

Full of cheer and still laughing at the mention of Isogai's embarrassment, the classmates all left the karaoke building. They all took a few minutes to talk before going their separate ways, and Karma walked with Nagisa once again.

"So what are your plans for the weekend, Karma?" Nagisa turned up to his taller friend with bright, curious eyes. "I was thinking that we could hang out some time," He chirped with a sweet smile, and Karma hissed; half with disappoint and half with anger.

"Sorry, Nagisa," He responded, shaking his head. "I'm kinda busy with stuff this weekend," Nagisa made a noise of sorrow and nodded dolefully. "But hey, we can always go to school earlier and hang out for a bit then. It's not really the same, but..." Karma's sentence tapered off as he realised how bad it sounded when he was actually  _saying_ it. 

Nagisa shook his head quickly, appearing to have perked up slightly. "No, that's fine, I just want to hang out with you!" The small boy quickly froze, his eyes wide. "I mean, uh, that's not what I meant!"

"Mm, don't worry, I'm with you," Karma responded awkwardly. He coughed. "So, Monday before school?" 

"Yep, sounds great!" Nagisa nodded affirmatively, his discomfort showing clearly through his stiff expression.

There were a few minutes of uncomfortable silence before the boys reached Nagisa's home. Karma waved the smaller boy off before continuing on his journey home. Compared to just cleaning around his house and studying, spending time with Nagisa would be like a dream come true. However, Karma knew that there was no way he could afford to be unprepared.

They would swoop in like vultures on their prey, inspecting every last corner and scanning every last word on his school report. If he was to treasure any more time with Nagisa, Karma would have to make sure that everything was perfect.

As Karma neared his home, he glanced towards his palms. It had been a shock, if not a  _miracle,_ that Isogai hadn't noticed the cuts he had gained from nights previous. Sure, they were small, but he thought that the boy would've noticed  _something._

He yawned, turning the handle to open his front door. _I guess people can really forget anything when they're uncomfortable._

_-_

**Yuuma Isogai**

'I'm worried about Karma. There were scratches all over his hand when he held it up to me.'

**Hiroto Maehara**

'Scratches??????'

**Yuuma Isogai**

'Yeah, scratches.'

**Hiroto Maehara**

'So what are you gonna do??? Should we talk to him about it on Monday??'

**Yuuma Isogai**

'No. I'm going to keep a closer eye on him. Whatever it is that's making him act so differently all of a sudden, I'm going to find out and put a stop to it, no matter what.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be the first to admit that that ending was awful, but I just really wanted to have that conversation at the end of the chapter. It's currently 4AM, I've been working on this chapter for almost three hours straight and my eyes are BURNING, so I guess I'll just have to stick with that ending. Thank you so much for reading the chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Until next time!


	6. six; uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE ASDFGHJKL

Karma took another dish from the side of the kitchen sink, then rubbed it carefully with the moisture-laden cloth in his hand. He let out a long, irritable sigh, looking over at the stack of plates, dishes and glasses that he still had yet to wash. After washing only five plates and two knives, the redhead had realised that taking all of the cutlery and crockery from the cupboards and drawers had been an awful idea. Unfortunately for him, everything was coated in a thin layer of dust due to lack of use, and the dishwasher was too useless to even qualify as an option.

Yawning, the tall boy ran a hand through his hair, cringing as his fingers left a damp trail over his crimson locks. Not moving from where he stood, Karma stretched over to the small radio that sat on the smooth, white counter beside the sink and swiftly pushed the button to turn it on. There were a few moments of silence before a deep and somewhat scratchy voice blared from the speaker, announcing the news at top volume.

It was a Sunday morning, so all that was to be declared were the tales of rowdy party-goers who drunk too much the night before and one or two lost animals. For that very reason, Sunday was the only day that Karma enjoyed listening to the radio - it was monotonous, it was boring, but it was routine. Karma liked routine. He could accept changing times and situations, just so long as  _some_ things stayed the same. He could cope with every problem in his life, so long as Nagisa stayed the same.

But Nagisa was changing.

Once he'd just slightly switched down the volume of the radio, the redhead continued washing up, and, when he'd finished, he placed all of the tableware back where it belonged. In all honesty, Karma wasn't a naturally untidy person - likely due to genes - and so, when he stood back to survey the room, there wasn't much for him to clean up. Sure, there were a few pieces of scrumpled-up paper scattered about, and maybe a stain or two that he'd forgotten to wipe up, but, other than that, there was very little mess.

However, "very little" was too much. The house had to be  _pristine_ by the time that they were back.

And so, after stretching his back and letting out a resolute sigh, Karma set to work; covering every surface with cleaning spray, dusting away cobwebs, cleaning out food that had expired and even washing the insides of the windows. Once he'd finished in the kitchen, Karma moved onto the living room, where he cleared the coffee table of study notes and assassination plans, replacing them with a candle and a business magazine.

Despite the fact that they weren't going to be back until Tuesday, the redhead had learnt from past experience that leaving his preparation until last minute was a terrible idea that partnered itself with grim consequences. At the memory, Karma's fingers curled into the cloth he was holding, and a feeling of dread flipped his stomach, fear overtaking his body.

For the rest of the day, he cleared his house of any stains, dust, or misplaced items. At midnight, when he finally succumbed to exhaustion, Karma flopped down onto his bed, fully-clothed. Less than a second after the redhead shut his eyes, he was asleep.

Waking up the next day, Karma's head throbbed as he was hit with a wave of fatigue, and, after attempting to sit up, he instantly fell back onto his bed. With an irritated sigh, Karma rolled over and checked his phone, squinting as the brightness of the screen assaulted his eyes. There were no messages, no missed calls, and the time was clearly displayed as 09:04. On a Monday. A  _school_ day.

 _Hmm, I'm not_ that  _late, and I doubt anyone'd care that I missed a lesson or two,_ Karma thought, weighing up his options for the day. As he did so, he was stabbed through the head, or, at least, that's what it felt like. The boy cried out in pain, clutching a hand to his head and curling his long body into a ball.  _Or..._ He hissed at the pounding ache in his brain.  _I could just not go at all._ Karma groaned out loud, releasing from his defensive position.

Gritting his teeth and lifting himself into a sitting posture, the redhead stretched out and rolled off of his bed.  _Not an option,_  he thought, making his way to the oakwood wardrobe in the corner of his room. Karma reached in, rifling through the several pale, pressed shirts hanging there until he found the white one that he wore for school. His black jacket was strewn carelessly across his white twin bed, and his dark grey trousers were folded neatly in the drawers beside his wardrobe. After collecting the clothing from around his room, Karma strolled to the bathroom to change clothes, brush his teeth and wash his face. Running a few fingers through his short, red hair, the boy decided that he was ready to leave, and promptly did so once he had fetched his bag from the end of his bed.

Halting on the pavement for a second as he felt another twinge of agony pound through his mind, Karma grabbed hold of a short gate to steady himself whilst the world warped and spiralled. He pressed a hand to his head and held on tightly until his dizzy spell was over. Once everything came back into focus and the pain left him, Karma continued walking down the pavement; one hand in his left pocket, and the other sliding his slim phone out of his right pocket. Upon opening it, there were two messages displayed and the time was 09:28. When the redhead saw that the messages were from Nagisa, he opened them without missing a beat.

'Are you coming to school soon??'

'Not that I mind'

Karma let a note of amused laughter tumble from his lips at the messages before tapping out a reply.

'Oh, of course, my dear Nagisa, for I know that you must be simply aching from loneliness without me there'

Before he could tuck his phone back into his pocket, Karma felt it buzz as he received two instant replies from his friend.

'I AM NOT!!!'

'And how come you turn into Shakespeare when you text???'

At the responses, a full snigger escaped Karma's mouth before he could cover it.

'Sure. And how come you text in pairs?'

When there were no retaliations to his teasing, Karma imagined that Nagisa was either glaring at his phone or that a lesson had begun. Sighing, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and continued his journey to school.

It wasn't long until the redhead reached the base of the hill to the Class E building, and, due to his natural athleticism, the hill itself wasn't much of a struggle to climb up. When he reached the rickety wooden structure and slumped against the wall, there was little noise to be heard, so Karma could only guess that his classmates were studying. 

 _Studying... Which is what_ I  _should be doing!_ Realisation suddenly struck through Karma's body, and he stiffened in horror. His exhaustion that morning, paired with the stabs of pain that he was feeling, had completely distracted him from the fact that he hadn't gotten into school early enough to study properly. With another glance at his phone screen, Karma determined that the next period was Gym class, so they wouldn't be doing any academic subjects.  _And academics are the only ones that matter._

In his frustration, Karma had tossed his phone to the side, though he hurriedly scrambled over to it when a vibration signalled that a message had been received. Without a thought, he slid it open, but his eyes widened when he saw what it said.

'I'll be back in Japan alone tomorrow. Your father is travelling to a nearby country for approximately one week before joining us at the house. Also, he has checked your attendance and behavioural records at school, and will be discussing those with you when he arrives. Make sure that you keep your grades at our standards - that is the least that you can do.'

Karma closed his eyes, attempting to somewhat control his nerves. Every sarcastic remark he'd made towards a teacher, every punch he'd thrown, every lesson he'd skipped; they all came flooding back to him. His breaths were shaky and coming in at a pace too quick for him to regulate. Hands shaking and face pale, the redhead's thumbs hovered over the keys of his phone, before he finally began to type a short, pleading response.

'Can't we just talk about it? Me and you? It'll be easier that way, right?'

It didn't even take five seconds for a reply to arrive, but Karma knew his answer before even reading it.

'No.'

Setting his lips into a thin, wavering line, Karma knew that all he could do was grovel.

'Please! Come on, you know how he gets! I can get better and go to school more and be nicer to teachers and stuff, just please have it between us!'

When the next message came through, Karma could almost hear the sharp edge to her voice, like that of a knife. Without her even being there, he could feel the ice and the smug venom dripping from her words.

'Karma, this isn't up for discussion. You brought this upon yourself, and you will pay the price. It's exactly as your name states, isn't it?'

Karma knew that there was no way he could win this battle. He'd lose the battle, lose the war, then they would leave again and let him gather up his rations. It was how it always went, and there was no doubt in his mind that that was how it would always continue to be.

With a sigh, Karma sunk down further against the wall, hastily covering his eyes when the harsh light of the sun beams triggered another headache. He thought back over everything that he'd done, scrutinising every action that led him up to his misfortune.

 _I wonder if I told Nagisa..._ He pondered for a second, but almost immediately shook the idea away.  _This isn't such a big deal; Nagisa would just think that I'm being a wimp or something._ It was a thought that the redhead repeated over and over, solidifying it in his mind until it became a concrete fact. He knew that he couldn't tell Nagisa - that was selfish, and Nagisa had his own problems.

_And yet..._

Karma released a vacillating sigh, struggling to swallow the lump that grew in his throat.

_And yet, if it's not a big deal..._

He felt the tears welling up in his eyes, rimming them and threatening to spill onto his cheeks.

_Then why do I feel so scared?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to quickly say that one of the original lines was "At the memory, Karma's fingers curled into the cloth he was holding, and a feeling of dread flipped his stomach, just like a Krabby Patty™."
> 
> And yet people still treat me like a serious writer.
> 
> Anyways, I'm so sorry that this chapter is late, and I'm sorry that it is legitimate TRASH (+ super short compared to usual yikes) but thank you to all of the people who've commented on previous chapters - it genuinely makes my day! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to hear your feedback for it!
> 
> Until next time, friendinos!


	7. seven; hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, I am just going to copy the notes straight from Wattpad, with no editing whatsoever, because I am exhausted to the point where I could literally pass out at any time, so I literally just cannot.
> 
> Hihi and hello, friendinos! I am a super happy person right now, because snowcrows was super lovely and made me a BEAUTIFUL new cover, and then also got me an honourable mention in the Anime Watty Awards Undiscovered Gem of the Month! If you're a good person who ships Karmagisa, then go over to her account and check out her adorable fanfiction "afternoon coffee". Do it. Now. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is dedicated to snowcrows for being such an ANGEL! I must apologise though, because I'm pretty sure it's written in a slightly different style, so sorry if that bothers anyone!

"Karma, will you be joining us today?" Jolting at the mention of his name, Karma turned so that he was face-to-face with Koro-sensei, who was peering out of the classroom window with his permanent, broad smile flashing in the sunlight. As he hastily blinked away the tears that had previously risen in his eyes, Karma stood up and brushed off his grey trousers, nodding to Koro-sensei after doing so.

"Sure," He replied, then smirked as he added, "So long as I'm learning something I don't already know." At his tease, Koro-sensei chuckled and green stripes patterned his face.

"Oh, I'm sure it will be, Karma!" The strange teacher assured, ushering Karma in the direction of the building's door with his tentacles. Letting light notes of laughter flow from his mouth, the redhead strolled over to the door that he had been directed to. Once Koro-sensei had recoiled his beaming face and shut the classroom window, the cheerful tone he held in his laugh turned dry and mirthless.

He hated it; it was like  _her_ laugh.

Karma clamped his chapped lips together, forming and filing away an unconscious reminder for him to brush off the dead skin when he returned to his house. Not only did the  _house_ have to be immaculate, but also he himself, apparently - particularly in  _her_ eyes. His mother's eyes.

That word - 'mother' - held so much. For most, it conjured an image of comfort and lullabies, maybe the smell of baking or rose-scented hand cream. Smiles and building blocks and blowing out birthday candles. Warm hugs and soap operas, accompanied by chocolates and crumpled tissues covered in mascara because 'David was  _cheating_  on you the  _whole time,_  Sarah!'. Giggles and swing sets and nursery rhymes and silly dances and endless pancakes and magic and  _happiness._

Through countless years of watching television on nights in by himself, Karma had found out that that was what  _most_ people associated with the word 'mother'. However, all that he thought of were expensive dresses that he wasn't allowed to touch and quick slaps on the hand when he did something he shouldn't and sharp glares with eye rolls and nails gripping into his skin. Plane tickets and studying and report cards and gritted teeth and threats and...  _Loneliness._

His hand placed firmly in the handle of the door to his classroom, Karma stitched a smile of nonchalance onto his formerly quivering lips. He opened his eyes slightly wider to disguise the half-lidded emptiness that they held. With a strong push, the door was wide open, and the redhead was greeting his classmates. Their words were so genuine that it hurt Karma. It hurt because he couldn't do the same - he couldn't just speak without thinking over it thoroughly beforehand, and he kept spacing out whenever one of his friends were telling a joke, so his laughter was always faux and delayed by one, unnoticeable second. Or, it  _would've_ been unnoticeable, if not for the two boys that watched him closely that day. 

Isogai and Nagisa. 

Keeping to his word, Isogai had kept his gaze fixed on Karma's slightly shaky movement, and the clench in his jaw whenever he was asked a question that was just a  _touch_ too personal. Nagisa, however, was the person who asked those questions, having noticed the strange way that his friend had been acting the past few days, and just wanted to know  _why._ And so, for the entirety of the class' lunch break, he verbally poked at his friend, desperate for an answer.

"Um, Karma," The blue-haired boy would always begin in a nervous tone, wary of the fact that the redhead's temper had a tipping point, and that he was likely stood on the very edge of it. "What were you up to at the weekend?" When Karma didn't reply straight away, Nagisa made a suggestion. "Did you go somewhere with your parents?" Wrong thing to say; Nagisa could tell by the way that his friend's yellow eyes sparked with irritation, a thin flame of anger clear in his stony glare.

With only a firm shake of his head to answer, Karma leaned back in his chair and lay a book over his face, making it clear to those surrounding him that he didn't want to talk. Concerned by yet another display of odd behaviour from his friend, Nagisa traipsed over to Isogai, who he had noticed was watching them talk.

"Something weird must've happened to him at the weekend," Nagisa reported to his friend, who just nodded and appeared to go into a deep thought. Beside him sat Maehara who sighed, an aura of gloom surrounding him.

"But what could've  _possibly_ happened?" The blonde huffed, clearly bothered by the lack of cheer in the conversation. "You saw him on Friday - he was fine!" Nagisa could only hum in agreement, unable to argue with the statement. Karma  _had_ seemed happy at the karaoke, but...

"He never answers my questions." Both Isogai and Maehara turned their attention to the small boy as he spoke, unable to mask his miserable tone. Their gazes both implored that he elaborate, and so, with a heavy sigh, he did so. "Karma. When I asked if he was alright back on Friday, he didn't reply, remember?" Isogai nodded, recalling the scene.

"You said he hadn't been acting himself the day before either," Isogai stated, taking on a business-like pose; elbows resting on his desk and fingers interlocked tightly, supporting his chin. "What did you mean by that?" His voice was so serious that both of the other boys looked shocked. Usually, Isogai was so kind and refreshing to be around, but now he was speaking as though he were a police officer interrogating a witness.

"U-Um, he was just," Nagisa fumbled for a word to describe what he meant.  _"Distant."_ Maehara looked shocked, and Isogai's eyebrows furrowed together. Karma was well-known for his sharp wit and alertness in any situation, so hearing that he had been acting 'distant' made them well aware that something was truly wrong. "Like, he looked kind of  _sad_ at one point..." The boy trailed off as he took in the expressions of his friends. Their eyes immediately locked onto Karma's figure, seemingly casual in his seat. His feet were up on the desk, hands behind his head, and his spine was lax against the back of the chair. However, on closer inspection, his entire body was rigid, like he was working hard to maintain his lazy position.

They were completely silent, until Maehara's voice piped up. "Usually, he'd have made some sarcastic comment by now," Isogai nodded, and Nagisa's shoulders sagged, the solemnity of the situation crowding his mind, until all that he could feel was concern. "A picture lasts longer, and all that." 

"Well," Isogai rose from his seat, pushing it back with a weak, but somewhat genuine, smile on his face. "I guess the best we can do it distract him from whatever's wrong." Nagisa's head jolted upwards in shock, and Isogai felt the need to explain himself. "Whatever happened at the weekend was bad enough to make Karma act this way. Therefore, we should make him as happy as possi- Oh!" As he was speaking, the friendly, blonde girl, whom they knew as Nakamura, strolled by Isogai's desk, clearly heading for where Karma was sat. When she reached her destination, Nakamura grabbed a chair from an empty desk nearby and pulled it up so that she was sat opposite Karma. 

"Yo, you gonna talk to me, or what?" She called to him, and, without even seeing her face, the trio of boys could  _hear_  the cheeky grin in her voice. In front of her, Karma removed the book from where it lay, balancing on his nose, and revealed the mildly shocked expression that crossed his features. 

"Oh, Nakamura," His tone was low, but the boys strained their ears enough to hear what Karma was saying. "How come you're here?" He leaned forward in his seat to show that he was paying attention, and Isogai turned away, gesturing to Nagisa and Maehara to do the same.

"It's probably better that Nakamura beat us to it," He said, reassurance lifting the corners of his mouth. "Believe it or not, she's very talented when it comes to how to treat a situation, and it seems that she had reached the same conclusion that I did - distraction is best right now." Isogai settled into his seat, and the bodies of the other two boys released their tension, able to relax now that Nakamura was taking care of the situation for them. "Of course," The class rep continued. "If it gets any worse, then we'll have to start pushing for answers." Nagisa nodded, and Maehara let his posture slouch.

"Man, all this stress is really not gonna be good for me!" The blonde ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a yawn. Isogai chuckled at the amusing sight, then his lips slipped into an easy smile.

"How so?" He asked, and Nagisa faced Maehara to show his interest.

"Girls don't like guys that stress out all the time!" Maehara explained, and flashed his casanova smile at Isogai. They both laughed, and then entered into a light-hearted conversation about completely random subjects.

Unable to focus, Nagisa turned his head slightly to look at Karma, who was discussing something with Nakamura. He was smiling and laughing, but, when their eyes connected in accidental eye contact, his bright grin stiffened, and Nagisa could see that the glow in his eyes was insincere. The redhead turned away again quickly, and Nagisa felt his heart drop.

_What happened to you, Karma?_

* * *

 

**Tuesday, 5:30pm**

Karma sighed, checking the time on the clock. He could smell the strong scent of chicken that he was cooking as it filled his kitchen, the meat almost ready to be taken out of the oven. The table was set; two glasses of iced water, cutlery placed neatly beside table mats, and the plates were being warmed. Beside Karma's jittering hand, his black smartphone was unlocked, displaying the conversation that he had had hours previous. His mother would be home soon.

Suddenly, the oven began to beep furiously, breaking the redhead out of his anxious thoughts. He leapt from his seat, hurrying over to the source of the sound and yanked the oven door open with haste, not bothering to protect his hands with the gloves that hung in the cupboard beneath the sink. The night before, he had taken care to make sure that everything in the house was in its correct place. Now though, he arranged the different parts of chicken on a large, round plate that sat in the middle of the table, between the two set places for he and his mother. 

Minutes passed as he placed both of the warmed plates on top of the two table mats that were already set out. As the oven continued to notify him that different vegetables were ready for him to gather, Karma placed carrots, asparagus, peas and roast potatoes onto the plates, organising them in a neat and orderly fashion. He wiped at the few beads of sweat that had begun to form on his forehead, and then proudly surveyed his work.

_It's perfect - everything is completely perfect. She can't ridicule this._

Before long, Karma could hear the soft clicks of the front door opening and closing, and he looked up in interest. Quickly placing the pot of gravy next to the plate of chicken, Karma straightened up his posture, ready to greet his mother as she walked through the kitchen door. However, before he even had the chance, an offhanded combination of disinterested words were enough to weigh down on him, heavy enough to crush him completely. There was a sharp, fleeting glance around the room, before her eyes landed on the table. Her eyebrows raised, and she tilted her chin so that she was facing Karma. As she spoke, their matching golden eyes locked together, and Karma could see the hollowness that her gaze held, but there was also a hint of malice, as if she knew the effect that her words would have.

"There won't be any need for this, Karma," His mother drawled, already leaving the room again. "I got a meal at the airport."

Disappointment flooded through Karma's chest as he saw the last of her buttercup locks, held up in a tight bun. For the second time that week, he could feel tears pricking his eyes, but refused to let them fall. He wouldn't let something so trivial hurt him so much. It happened every time.

 _But I just..._ Karma's breath caught in his throat.  _I got my hopes up again._

The steam was still rolling off of the freshly-prepared food on the table, but Karma no longer felt hungry for it. Instead, he was hungry for something else. So many emotions built up in his body, until the tears in his eyes swum dangerously close to the edge of his lashes, threatening him. Karma was hungry for just a hint of emotion to show in his mother's eyes when she saw him, for her words to feel comforting, and for her lips to form a smile.

Karma was hungry for something that he could never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. It really took seven chapters for Mrs Akabane to be introduced? I need to up my pacing game.
> 
> Anyways, I'm sure that I had something to say here, but I'm currently exhausted, so, whatever is was, I've completely forgotten it. Great.
> 
> Also, I'll be releasing a little fluffy Karmagisa one-shot soon (hopefully tomorrow) so you can check that out if you'd like!
> 
> Aside from that, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and- nope, I am literally too tired for this.
> 
> Until next time, friendinos!


	8. seven.five; happy

_I'll be happy one day._

That's what he tells himself, as he lies between the cold, crisp bedsheets. They crinkle with each of his restless movements, and he places the back of his hand to his forehead, covering his eyes. The room falls silent, but his thoughts soon become louder, louder,  _louder,_ until he can bear it no more. He rises, pads down a short flight of stairs, and pours himself a cool glass of water. It soothes his throat, but the pounding in his head doesn't stop; it only grows worse, to the point that it's painful to even keep his eyelids apart. With haste, he hops back up the staircase, slipping into his cold bed once more. His eyes flicker shut, and the air is still.

Alas, the thoughts, they race through his mind then burst out into the room, filling each corner with darkness. Once they have finished, they return to him, encapsulate his body, and coat him in their venom. He sits up straight, wincing in pain as the thoughts hit him, beat him, suffocate him. His sight becomes blurry, and he falls back onto his fresh mattress, but its sweet scent is pushed aside by the thoughts' toxic fumes.

 _I'll be happy one day,_ Karma tells himself, and he knows that it is a lie.

 


	9. eight; news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! Thank you all for bearing with me for the past week and a bit as I got myself together - I'm feeling loads better and a lot more refreshed now! Also, I got a tumblr where I quite regularly post little drabbles and pictures of manga characters with me colouring them different colours because I'm just #edgy like that, so you can go check that out at akihito-kanburrito on tumblr.
> 
> I don't really like this chapter, but I can't extend my break any longer, so I'm afraid that this is it. It was super hard for me to write, because it's honestly mind-numbingly boring to me. I JUST WANNA GET TO THE ANGST!!
> 
> Kind of related to that, these chapters may get a little shorter, be lower quality, and/or be less consistent. I'm just kinda busy right now, but I'm doing my best, I swear!

"Mother, are you awake?" Karma called, a mild waver in his voice as his knuckles grazing the wooden door in the ghost of a precarious knock. "I can prepare you some breakfast," He added, whilst leaning his head slightly against the cold wall as footsteps sounded from the inside of his mother's room. The door swung open violently, and Karma instantly jumped back in surprise as his mother emerged from the room. Her strong perfume shot to his nose, and it was all that the redhead could do to stifle a cough.

"Of course I'm awake," She spoke in an exasperated tone, but her face didn't display any evidence that she was flustered. In fact, she looked to be the epitome of calm; her features were smooth and her hair was tucked into a bun, as was the usual. Two slightly curled strands of gold fell into a frame around her face, although Karma knew for a fact that they were there on purpose - if his mother wanted her hair out of her face, it would stay out of her face. Her aura  _demanded_  obedience. "And no," She said, as her black heels clipped down the stairs, and she collected her large, black bag from where it was sat atop a chest of drawers. "I don't want to eat any breakfast that you make." With a mere glance at Karma, who then stood at the bottom of the stairs, she stepped out of the front door. Under the beaming light of the sun, her blonde hair shone, and her white skirt suit was illuminated. 

"Right," Karma affirmed with a humble nod of his head. "Got it, sorry."

"Also," His mother took her phone from her bag as she spoke. "Clean the kitchen. The house reeks of whatever you made last night." She raised a groomed eyebrow in judgement, her honey-coloured eyes locking onto Karma's own. The redhead stiffened, and his fingernails dug into his palms as he clenched his hands. Before he could respond, Karma's mother was out of the house, with only a slam of the door signifying a farewell. 

Releasing a defeated sigh, Karma took out his own phone from his pocket and checked the time. After realising that his first lesson would begin in approximately ten minutes, the boy groaned and entered the kitchen.

It was spotless.

Nevertheless, he got straight to work; wiping around the oven, airing out anything that could possibly hold any scent of cooking, washing up one or two dishes that maybe hadn't gotten cleaned to his mother's standards the night before. He even sorted through the refrigerator, to make sure that everything in there smelt fine. It was strange, but his mother was known for her strong sense of smell, and Karma hated the way she would wrinkle her nose in disgust whenever she got home from work. 

Just a few sharp words of disgust - that was all it took to shake Karma. With most people, Karma could just brush off insults with a laugh and a flick of his hair. Maybe he'd threaten them a little if he wanted to freak them out, but Karma would generally just walk away. However, when it came to his parents, there was nothing Karma could do. When they hurt him, it felt as though  _he_ was the one in the wrong, like  _he_ was the one who had been cruel, and that  _they_ were the victims.

It was stupid of him to feel that way and Karma knew it. He also knew that most people in his situation would act like martyrs; self-blaming, soft-spoken, innocent. However, Karma  _knew_ that it wasn't his fault. He  _knew_ that he had done nothing to deserve the cold words that he received. But, even so...

"It doesn't stop them," Karma breathed, his voice wavering. For a few moments, the redhead simply stood in silence, his hand clawed around a dish towel and his throat blocked up. Suddenly, an automated chirp called out from his phone, and Karma brusquely shoved the towel away to take the device out of his pocket. It was a text from Nagisa.

'Big news!!! Get to school soon!!!!!!!'

And, a second or two later, his phone beeped again.

'Are you ok?? It's not like you to miss maths'

Karma's hand abruptly clenched around his phone. His knuckles were white as his thumbs jabbed out a reply. 

'I'll be there soon. I'm fine, by the way. I just slept in.'

Before hitting 'SEND', Karma surveyed the room. If he were to leave the windows open, then the whole room would be freed of any lingering scents from the previous night, and the room couldn't possibly be any more clean. With a decisive nod of self-approval, Karma sent the text and grabbed his school bag, slinging it over his shoulder with ease.

Not long after he set off, Karma's phone pinged with another message alert, and he quickly opened his phone to read it. Once he'd seen that it was from Nagisa, the redhead stiffened in anticipation, hoping that the boy had believed his stilted lie. Fortunately, he had, and Karma breathed out a sigh of relief.

The rest of his journey to school was uneventful. When he reached the building, Karma went straight to the classroom with no stops, in the fear that Koro-sensei would catch him again.

"Karma!" Nagisa greeted him excitedly, a wide beam lighting up his face.

"Hey, Nagisa," Karma replied, and he hoped that his friend hadn't noticed the slight hint of exhaustion in his voice. Lucky for him, the blue-haired boy seemed too caught up in his enthusiasm to noticed anything, but Karma could feel eyes burning holes into the back of his head. A short glance over his shoulder revealed that it was Isogai, whose unnaturally intense stare swiftly flicked away from the redhead when the made eye contact. Karma raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it. "So," He started, turning his attention back to Nagisa. "What's the big news?" The small boy's smile seemed to grow even more at the question, and he almost seemed to be bouncing in his seat with glee.

"Well, you know how you used to live in Shinjuku when you were younger?" Nagisa's hands joyfully tightened into fists as he spoke. Karma nodded slowly. "We're going!" 

_"What?"_  Karma almost yelped, his entire body stiffening. 

Oblivious to his friend's reaction, Nagisa began to explain with a cheerful voice. "Basically, Koro-sensei said that, since there's no tests coming up that we need to study for, we should have a change of scenery and go on another school trip!" Karma's eyebrow twitched. "We'll be leaving on Friday morning and come back Saturday night, since Koro-sensei got himself all excited about it and didn't want to wait any longer." A nervous gulp rang through Karma's ears. "Can you imagine, Karma?" He could certainly imagine, just not the things that Nagisa was obviously thinking. "I bet there'll be a ton of Sonic Ninja merchandise there, so we could go round together and- Karma?" Karma felt for the desk behind him to steady himself. The classroom had gone unfocused and shadowed, and numbness was creeping into his body. "Karma, you've gone pale, what's wrong? Are you sick?" He shook his head, but instantly regretted it as a sharp bite of agony sliced across his brain.

Isogai's concerned voice slipped into his range of hearing. "Karma, are you-"

"I'm fine!" Behind him, Karma's fingers found the wooden door of the classroom, and they stroked along it, as though seeking reassurance that it was there; that Karma could escape. "I'm fine..." He breathed out, voice almost inaudible above the sound of blood pounding in his ears.

"Karma, are you sure?" Nagisa's voice piped up again. "Maybe you should get some air - you really aren't looking good."

_Stop pushing!_

Karma attempted to shake his irritation away, but it clung to his mind like a dog to a bone. Nagisa's voice, usually so gentle and so soothing, became an annoying shriek in his ears that he just couldn't get rid of. Isogai's voice, so filled with worry, became a hiss of distaste. More voices joined, but they were angry snarls and growls.

"Leave me  _alone!"_ Suddenly, Karma's body was moving on its own, and his hand, balled into a fist, was cutting through the air, aiming for one certain boy in front of him. Before it could reach its target, however, a handcuff formed by a tentacle was curled tightly around Karma's wrist.

"As you can see, I'm trying to hold you back, but strength is not an area in which I have much..." Koro-sensei sighed deeply. "Strength. So,  _please,_ Karma." 

Karma didn't need pleading with. His arm dropped to his side, and he stared at Nagisa with wide eyes. Under the shocked scrutiny of the class, the boy felt his skin go pale, before he backed out of the classroom door, stammering. All the while, he kept his gaze locked with Nagisa's. On Karma's side, the gaze was shocked, frozen in disbelief, but, on the other side - Nagisa's side - it was...  _Hurt._ The joyous expression that he had worn just moments earlier had been wiped off, replaced by one full of anguish and something that felt akin to fear.

"Nagisa, I'm..." Karma hit his heel against the classroom door in his attempt to get out. He shook his head, unable to process the situation. 

_I'm so sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so out of character and isfiusdgksfd I'M SORRY!!
> 
> Can I get onto the actual angst now? K good.
> 
> I hope this chapter wasn't TOO bad, but there's no way in hell that I'm going back to edit it, because I have a massive headache and promised my friend that this would be up today.
> 
> Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see all you lovely friendinos next chapter!


	10. nine; subtle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, this chapter is SHORT (and written within literally one hour, give me a break). Also, I should really say it more, but if you have any questions about the story or about anything in general, then just ask me, because I truly don't mind. Whether it be in the comments, private message on Wattpad or an ask/private message on tumblr - it really doesn't matter! I just want to make sure that everybody enjoys this story as much as they can, and there's no way you guys can do that if you don't understand, right? So just go ahead and ask me!
> 
> Aside from that, I have like two chapters of Coffee with Karma written, so I hope that you all enjoy that when it's published!
> 
> Anyways, on with the (really damn short) chapter:

Karma leant his forehead against the cool glass of the vending machine. A low humming noise was emitted from within it, lulling the redhead into a calmer state than his previous one. Calmer, but not calm. His mind was still racing with frantic thoughts of what had just happened, along with the sight of Nagisa's face sparking a painful twinge in his heart. He hadn't meant it. He was just stressed, that was all. So why did he feel so bad?

For nearly half an hour, nobody had come to check on him - to yell at him or hurt him the way that he had  _almost_ hurt Nagisa. Almost. Karma kept telling himself that it was  _almost;_ that he hadn't actually hurt Nagisa. However, he knew just as well as the rest of the class knew, as well as Nagisa knew, that Karma's small, loving, blue-haired friend  _was_ hurt. Karma's hand never managed to slice through the air far enough to make contact with Nagisa's face, yet the pain still shone through clearly in the boy's expression.

To date, Karma had never seen Nagisa make that face before. He'd been determined to never see it, and he certainly never expected that he would be the cause. Nobody had. Since Karma's first day in 3-E, the entire class only had to take a glance at the two friends to know that Nagisa was in safe hands with the redhead. Unbeknownst to the small boy himself, the class knew the way that he let himself be thrown around and thrashed at, and had grown to be rather defensive of him. Obviously, when his bloodlust appeared, they all knew that he was perfectly capable on his own, and so left him in his own hands. Nagisa's biggest believer was Karma - the redhead would only have to nod and grin in that knowing way of his, and something like pride would bloom instantly in Nagisa's chest. They were each other's mutual admirers. However, battles appear from unknown quarters, and a bond so strong had to fumble somewhere.

But it was subtle. Just the anger in Karma's face; the gritted teeth, the wild hair, the blazing eyes. Then the anguish in Nagisa's that followed. It was subtle, but it was all too clear to see. 

After that, Karma didn't return to the classroom, and no one asked him to.

Meaningless days passed by, and Karma followed a meaningless routine. He would rise drearily from his bed, wash himself, dress himself, then prepare a brutally rejected and meaningless meal for his mother. She didn't care that he wasn't attending school. In her eyes, so long as her son wasn't interfering with her schedule or hurting her reputation, it shouldn't have been any of her concern.

Stoney eyes would survey her son's sorry state; shoes scuffed from kicking at walls, shirt crumpled from lack of care, and trousers tinged slightly at the ends from tramping around muddy streets and splashing up puddles. Then, she would lift a fair eyebrow, turn on her heel and exit the house with a glossy smartphone clamped to her ear.

The days continued to turn over until it was Friday, the day of the class trip. It was fine if Karma didn't go - the very thought had made him feel sick to the stomach anyway. There was no need to go into school. Friday could have just been another day, but... Something inside of Karma refused to let it be so. 

Karma heaved himself out of bed, following the same routine of his previous days. The dull ache of rejection would resound in his chest as the redhead glanced over his perfectly prepared omelette, his breakfast of choice. It was stupid - petty, even - but there was just something about true acceptance that Karma longed for. It just seemed to warm and forgiving. It seemed like Nagisa.

'Don't.'

The very word still haunted Karma's mind, weaving cobwebs of insecurity and smashing bright windows with confusion. His mother's message had been a shot of rejection from a distance, and her presence was a constant taser from point-blank range. A persistent shock, endlessly reminding Karma of his true worth. And his true worth could be compared to a one yen coin, at least to the only person that mattered.

Well, not the  _only_ person. But the faith that Nagisa had placed in Karma had been replaced with fear, which was the one thing that the redhead had never wanted to happen.

Treading down the pavement, Karma let his shoulders sag. Truthfully, he knew that he shouldn't have been expecting it, but the pair of buzzes that always came from his phone whilst he strolled to school had become comforting, and the redhead couldn't help but feel a little lost without them.

Through a haze of sorrow, the train station came into view. Around it, students with recognisable faces pooled in cheerful clusters, conferring with each other and preparing to board the train. On the other hand, Koro-sensei appeared less cheerful. He was zooming around the crowds of pupils and fretting at Mach 20. Noting that at least half of the teacher's distress was likely his doing, Karma decided that it was best to hang back until the train arrived to take them to Shinjuku.

For Karma, the train arrived far too quickly, and then the apprehension set in. Would his classmates react to his presence? If so, what would they do? Would they really just let him blend in, like he had been planning?

Without warning, the voice on the intercom announced that the train would depart soon, and Karma's heart began beating out of rhythm. It fluttered with adrenaline, flipped with fear and convulsed with pure anxiety. There was no going back. He would just have to face the class and then, subsequently, Nagisa.

One shaking step after another, Karma reached the train and stepped onto it, thanking every god for the lack of people there. However, the redhead's relief was swathed in despair as he caught a pair of blue eyes. Eyes that usually shone and glimmered with joy, but turned glassy with sorrow exclusively for him.

Nagisa was sat in the very front seat, next to Kayano as they played some kind of card game. Both their hands were frozen as they noticed Karma, but neither of them said anything.

Heart in his mouth, Karma tore his gaze away and began a rigid walk forward. In his mind, his hand reached out for Nagisa, he looked right into his eyes and apologised. In his mind, Nagisa giggled, swatted his shoulder and started one of their pointless little conversations. In his mind, Karma wasn't the idiot that he was in real life.

In real life, Karma strode awkwardly past Nagisa and Kayano. In real life, sweat beads dripped down from Karma's forehead from stress.

In real life, Karma and Nagisa remained estranged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that really was short! My writing style is a little different to normal, sorry if my inconsistency bothers anyone. I was actually going to go to sleep, so this chapter most likely would've been late, but WHAT DO YOU KNOW my awakeness went from off to on as soon as I closed my laptop, and I instantly opened it again to write this chapter all in one go. I may or may not have been binging Bad Education, but that is unnecessary information, so MOVING ON SWIFTLY!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and please leave a comment if you did! Constructive criticism is obviously welcome, and I'll see all you lovely friendinos next chapter! Bye!


	11. ten; confronted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I attempted to make this chapter longer than usual, so that's why it's a little late, as well as it being a kinda difficult chapter to write. Hopefully you guys like this, but I'm kind of afraid that it'll seem like I'm cramming too much into this story, instead of leaving it simple, like it really should be. Sorry if any of you think that, but I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. Therefore, this is Chapter 10:
> 
> Sidenote: I know I said I was prepared for you guys to hate this chapter but I actually worked really really hard on it, so please love it!

"This train has now arrived at Shinjuku station." Karma peeled his face from where it had been cupped in his hand, glancing around drowsily after the journey. As the woman over the intercom gave the safety instructions for leaving the train carriage, he watched the rest of his class gathering their luggage from the racks and overhead lockers. The redhead could see Nagisa's hand scrabbling for the handle of his bag and instinct nudged at his leg, but he remained still. A much larger, more calloused hand grabbed the bag and handed it down to Nagisa, then a gruff voice called out to Karma. He could easily recognise it as Terasaka's after the shock wore down, but no smart comment came to mind.

Terasaka yelled again. "Karma!" The redhead in mention stiffened anxiously. "Quit bein' a wimp and get out before the train leaves again!" Karma could see the tenseness in the rest of the class, so only shuffled awkwardly, although a quick glance from Isogai got him walking rigidly to the front of the train. In his peripheral vision, Karma could see Sugino and Kayano poised defensively at either side of Nagisa like bodyguards, and made sure not to look their way. Just beside the trio, Nakamura was leant against the bag rack, eyeing him warily. 

Karma's observation was cut short by a rough clap on his shoulder. "C'mon then," Terasaka mumbled, refusing eye contact with the boy at his side. "Train's not gonna stick around forever." Karma nodded, as did the rest of the class, and they stepped out onto the Shinjuku platform.

All of a sudden, fear ran a shock down Karma's spine. He could recognise that feeling instantly, and gulped in apprehension. 

"Are you alright?" A quiet mutter sounded from behind Karma's head, and he turned around cautiously. Facing him was Karasuma, who held a look of concern in his eyes, although the rest of his features remained stoic. Turning his gaze away for a second, Karasuma gestured over to where Koro-sensei was stood with his eyes scanning rapidly over the inside of a tourism leaflet. "He mentioned what happened earlier this week with Nagisa. It's unlike you to act so rash."

 _Well, that's partially correct,_ Karma thought with an inward sigh, fixing a practiced smile onto his lips. "I'm fine," he said, and meant to go on, but his beating heart told him that two words were all that he could bear. The apprehensive twitch in his fingertips suggested that he turn away, and so he did, with only a short inclination of his head towards Karasuma. As he continued to stride with legs fuelled by false confidence, Karma heard a defeated exhale from the stern teacher, and would have turned back to offer a fake grin of reassurance if it weren't for a mess of blonde strands suddenly obscuring his vision. 

"Ah, sorr- Karma!" Nakamura's thin blue eyes opened wide in shock. Her expression was reflected by Karma's, although they both hastily forced their features into an amiable appearance, exchanging tight smiles. Usually, their conversations would consist of teasing and finger guns, but neither of the pair could fathom any jokes, and Karma knew exactly why.

Since the redhead had joined Class E, he and Nakamura had become fast friends, due to their mutual love of pranks and mischief. They were never too serious about anything, and took all joking insults on the chin. However, they were also both connected in their fierce protection of Nagisa, which was where their current turmoil stemmed.

It was a well-known fact that, despite all her bravado, Nakamura genuinely  _cared_ for the small, blue-haired boy, and had an intense loyalty to him. It was why jokes that would usually be described as going 'too far' were okay, because it was Nakamura, and Nakamura was kind.

And so, when the question of allegiance had presented itself to her, Nakamura became stuck. Sure, Karma had posed a threat to Nagisa, but she was friends with them both, so did she really have to pick a side? Of course she did - anyone with eyes could see how hurt Nagisa had been, and it was  _expected_ of her to defend him, no matter the situation. If she were to stay friendly with Karma, then Nagisa would surely be offended. 

Therefore, with just the right amount of hostility - if she were too warm, it could be interpreted as friendship - Nakamura backed way, offering only a short nod of sorrow before she joined Nagisa and Kayano. 

Karma gulped, looking on at the trio with apprehension building in his chest. If even Nakamura wouldn't talk to him, then who would? There had been Terasaka earlier, but even he hadn't been able to stare him in the eyes like usual. 

He'd messed up big time, and he knew that there was only one thing that would fix it. 

"I'm sorry."

With a jolt, Karma was wrenched from his thoughts and thrown back into the real world. Swivelling his head round to face where the voice had come from, the redhead took in the sight of a girl with wide, navy blue eyes and shoulder-length black hair. She looked familiar.

"I'm sorry - do I know you?" Her bell voice tinkled as she poked a slender finger over her shoulder. In the direction she pointed to, a boy stood, smirking, although he was too far away for Karma to see his figure clearly. "That's my brother. He said that he used to know someone with hair like yours, but he was too shy to ask himself." She giggled, and Karma squinted at the boy in the distance, trying to see if he could recognise him. Maybe if he knew the name... "Aromi is his name!" The answer came with a friendly chirp, and a shock reverberated through Karma's spine, flashing his eyes wide open as his throat went dry. "Here, I'll call him over -  _Aromi!"_

_"Aromi!" The dark, chocolatey eyes of a young boy shone with excitement as his name was called. "Get his stomach - my brother said that's what takes 'em all down!" The boy nodded, panting through a dangerous smirk as he aimed another punch._

Only a choke emitted from Karma's mouth, but the girl didn't seem fazed in the slightest. Little dimples in her cheeks were evident as she waved a dainty hand over to her brother. 

_"Aromi!" Another voice jeered, and the reaction was the same as before. "Kick him this time - punches only hurt so much!"_

Each of his steps and each of Karma's breaths were intertwined with each other, synchronising frighteningly. As Aromi got closer, everything but his body seemed to slowly disappear from reality; roaring engines were diminished to buzzes, people shrank to ants, and it was like his class had never been there in the first place.

_"Aromi!" One previously unheard voice shrieked. A small, redheaded boy had tears streaming down his face as he sobbed. "Please, stop hurting him!"_

"Aromi..." Karma uttered, almost inaudible beneath his heavy breaths. Before him stood a boy around his height, with glittering chocolate eyes and hair so inky black that, if he were to turn his head too fast, Karma was sure it would splatter.

_"Stop... Hurting him?"_

"Been a while," he said with a grin, but the friendliness only reached so far. Not noticing the tension between the two, Aromi's sister cheerfully excused herself, skipping over to two adults; presumably her parents. "Here, why don't I take you on a little tour - check that you can remember all our old little..." His eyes turned dark as he gazed up through thick eyelashes. "Hangouts."

Shakily, Karma attempted to refuse, but Aromi didn't give him the time. He simply turned on his heel and sauntered away, leaving Karma with no option but to follow as he realised that his class had moved on without him.

After a few indistinct visits, the pair reached a narrow area, protected by a cluster of trees. It was behind a restaurant that had been closed down some time in the 80's, so there was no one around and no sound other than the gentle flap of cardboard in the windows. "Mm, I did always like this place," Aromi stated with a delighted hum. "So peaceful." His eyes were closed, arms draping by his side and leaving him defenceless. Truthfully, it was the perfect time for Karma's fight-or-flight instinct to kick in, but he simply stood and stared at the sight before him.

_"You're a bully, Aromi."_

_"No, you're just a coward."_

This  was the place where it all went haywire, if Karma could remember correctly, and he could, of course - any place he went with Aromi was permanently etched into his mind.

"Come on then," Aromi beckoned. "I've had enough of this place. We can go somewhere special next, if you like." With that last statement, a smirk adorned his lips and he narrowed his eyes, letting his thick lashes touch close to each other.

"Uh, no thanks," Karma waved a hand in front of him, stuffing the other into his pocket as he fiddled nervously with a few loose coins he'd shoved in there. "I've gotta get back to my class." The redhead tried backing away, pointing a thumb over his shoulder as he did so.

Aromi raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh?" He tilted his chin upwards. "But they didn't seem to care about you all that much earlier, did they?" Shocked, Karma's teeth gritted together as his eyelids flew apart. "Aww, has somebody gone and ruined it all again? Maybe you'll have to wimp out like last time and up sticks to another city - spend some time with those darling parents of yours, perhaps." Aromi was near laughter now, his playful simper masking the dark intentions that gleamed in his eyes. "Come along then - places to go, people to see!"

Karma nodded, subdued after his slight spark of rebellion and just ready for it all to be over. It didn't take long for the two boys to reach their final destination; an alleyway with just a sliver of light shining through it, since the sky was beginning to dim into a collection of scarlet and amber hues. The memories came rapidly flooding back into Karma's mind, meandering through every glimmer of childhood cheer until every thought was drowned in fear. 

The alley was dark and silent until Aromi's clear voice shot through the quiet and straight to Karma's heart.

"I really hate you, you know that?" For what felt like the millionth time that day, Karma's eyes went wide in shock. Not shocked by the knowledge, but shocked that, for once in his life, Aromi had directly addressed his contempt. Sure, his voice had been calm, as was usual, but his words weren't sugarcoated in the slightest.

"And I've never known why," Karma said, careful to keep his tone steady even as his insides flipped at Aromi's mocking glance.

"Why?" He repeated, a snicker on his lips. "Well, why not? You're nothing but a little rich kid whining, 'Mommy and Daddy won't look at me, let's hit something and see if they do,'" Aromi hummed, his tone gentle but laced with danger, like an animal ready to pounce on its prey. With his bangs still shadowing his face, Karma clenched his fists and swallowed heavily. "That's all you are. All you have been and all you ever will be, Kar-" Without warning, Karma swung his fist at Aromi's face. All of his fear dissipated, and a loud, snapping noise broke out in place of it. With a clatter, Aromi fell to the floor, clutching his injured nose.

"Shut up," Karma hissed, glaring down at Aromi with such a burning intensity that nothing could possibly match up to it. Blood ran from Aromi's nose and, when the boy took his shielding hand away, his palm was coated in crimson. He let out a growl, snapping his fierce gaze to meet Karma's own.

"Who the hell do you think you're messing with?" Aromi snarled viciously, curling his hands into fists at his sides and lurching forwards to punch Karma back. It hit him straight in the face, but he swiftly returned to his previous stance, merely sidestepping the strong kick that Aromi had attempted to send his way. Unable to react in the short space of time that it had taken Karma to dodge, Aromi simply froze. Not taking any chances, Karma grabbed the side of Aromi's head, looped his fingers into the thick locks of hair, and pushed Aromi to the ground. Aromi emitted a cry of shock and pain as Karma moved his hand to clasp his throat, gripping it tightly so that he struggled to breathe. 

Gasping desperately for air, Aromi grappled with Karma's arm, leaning forward with his teeth bared in an attempt to bite Karma. Narrowing his eyes and clicking his tongue in contempt, Karma simply slanted backwards so that he could pick Aromi up. Albeit roughly, Karma let go of the boy, who then stumbled away from him, still short for breath.

"You..." Aromi broke himself off and took a moment to do something that he was unable to do before:  _look_ at Karma. Namely, those golden, butter-coloured eyes. Due to the lighting of their location, his eyes were naturally dimmed to a shade of maleficent mercury, glinting with pure fury, yet also glazed with something akin to grief. They weren't as lively as they used to be - leaping, bounding, dancing with mischief. They were close to death, Aromi could tell. 

Glancing back at the rest of his former peer's body, Aromi took everything in; his preened clothing, his pale skin, his dull red hair... 

Aromi sighed heavily, letting his eyes float shut for a moment or two before opening them again. "You've... Changed," He stated, but his usual venomous tone was lacking. Karma's face displayed no emotion then, his body returning to a neutral stance. Satisfied that he wouldn't be attacked from behind, Aromi turned and left, leaving Karma alone to himself.

 _You don't have to tell me, I already know,_  Karma thought, melancholy and loneliness overtaking him once the anger had been snuffed out. Feeling as though he couldn't do anything else, Karma sank to the floor and leant his head on the grime-coated wall, shutting his eyes before the welling tears could fall.

_I'm a monster._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselo
> 
> OKOK DON'T LEAVE YET I HAVE QUESTIONS!!
> 
> 1: Did you enjoy this chapter? Please tell me omg I need feedback (and nice comments to repair my self-esteem)
> 
> 2: Next chapter, would you be okay if I focused it more on Aromi? I know that usually people aren't really into OCs, but that would be the easiest way to explain Karma's whole backstory.
> 
> 3: Can you survive more than a week without an update? Next chapter mayyyy take a while so uh... Please hold on for me?
> 
> Anyways, I hope you friendinos all enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you next time!


	12. eleven;darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did it :')

"Why?" That same, pretentious voice sing-songed, making Isogai's hands clench. "Well, why not?" With that, the voice began to move away - the source was presumably walking further into the alley of darkness - leaving Isogai's ears straining to hear. At the next sentence, the voice dropped threateningly low; so low that nobody but the target could be able to hear. The target, of course, was Karma.

Letting out a huff, Isogai furrowed his brows and moved away from the wall he had pressed himself against. The way that boy had greeted Karma was strange - anyone could tell with just a glance - but Isogai didn't feel that he could approach the redhead at the time without repercussions, so hung back despite his concern.

"What are you doing?" A voice well known to Isogai asked, the mildly stilted tone suggesting that the owner was worried, but trying their best not to let it show. Without even looking up, Isogai knew who was speaking.

Sure enough, with just a glance away from the scuffed toes of his shoes, Isogai saw Maehara's figure stood casually, the sunset deepening lazily behind him and giving his hair a faintly coral tinge. Strands wafted in the breeze, drifting over Maehara's forehead and leading Isogai's vision to the bemused tint in his friend's eyes, partnered with an uncertain smile.

Matching his expression with a wider, brighter smile of his own, Isogai pushed completely away from the wall and stepped to Maehara's side. "I was trying to listen in, but no joy," he responded calmly to the question, despite his shaky insides. Could the class have abandoned Karma in his time of need? What if the strange boy he was with attacked him? It'd be his fault, wouldn't it, for not having stepped in?

"You shouldn't worry yourself so much," Maehara advised, the lilt in his voice telling Isogai that he had practically been reading his mind. "And don't you dare beat yourself up about it! Sure, what happened with Nagisa wasn't Karma's fault _entirely,_ but you've got to admit he was the most in the wrong. Besides, I think he's realised that already and, if he's really the big boy he makes himself out to be, he'll be fine."

Isogai's plastered smile morphed to a shorter, but more genuine one. "Mm, you're right," he said, as the pair began to walk together. "Thanks."

Maehara grinned, lighting up the sombre mood hanging in Isogai's heart. "Any time!"

* * *

 

_"He's bullying me!" Aromi wailed, fat tears brimming his eyes and streaking his face. He threw a hand out to where a boy, shorter than him, was sat. The boy's head was bowed, so only red hair was visible, and his hunched shoulders gave the impression of a wolf without defence. However, his knuckles were bloody and bruised, as well as imprinted into Aromi's body and face._

_Besides, Aromi never lied. Not to his sister._

* * *

 

"Come on, Aromi," His sister's soft voice chided, although it sounded like a tease. "Eat up, or it'll go cold." She gestured to the meal before him, holding his gaze until he lifted his cutlery. "I'm not going to let you lapse back to your state from years ago just because _he's_ here." Her eyes were tender and the dulcet expression glowing in them neared pity.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Aromi replied with a lax smile, then averted his eyes from his sister's stare to scan the food before him. "It looks nice. Thank you."

His sister giggled sweetly, moving to the door. "My pleasure!" She chirped, then left the kitchen. Once he heard the front door gently open and close, Aromi rose from his seat, collected his meal from the table, then proceeded to scrape it out into the bin. As the food settled in the pit of the bin liner, Aromi's stomach growled in indignation, but he ignored it and left the room.

 _This isn't fair!_ Aromi's mind hissed as he stamped his feet up the staircase. Once he was in his room, he threw himself backwards onto his bed, huffing out through his nostrils. _He can't just turn on me like this - not after everything I've done for him!_

Aromi rolled to his side, curling up with angry tears in his eyes. On the wall opposite him, a shelf was constructed, with a picture of two boys; one with black hair and a cheeky grin, and one with red hair and a mischievous light behind his eyes. Together, they looked happy.

_It's not fair at all._

* * *

 

_"A-rom-i!" A cheerful voice rang out, separating each syllable of Aromi's name. Upon hearing it, Aromi lifted his head and looked over towards the boy who'd called to him, then grinned when he saw who it was. "Where're we going today? Same place as yesterday? That was fun!" Aromi went to nod, then shook his head as a person caught him off-guard in his peripheral vision._

_"One minute," he told the boy, who looked confused at his words, but didn't question them. "I need to talk to someone first." The boy nodded hesitantly, then jogged over to join his and Aromi's group of friends. Once they had all left the room and the teacher began making his leave, Karma approached. "What do you want?" Aromi asked, pensive. Karma's eyes narrowed to slits._

_"An explanation," he replied, moving to sit on the desk in front of Aromi's. His expression was grave; not the kind to usually be seen on the keen face of a ten year old. "I want to know just what you think you're doing." Aromi placed his final book in the space left in his backpack, then slung his bag over one shoulder._

_"Don't know what you're talking about," he said breezily, although a stiff smile kept his face taut. From the corner of his eye, Aromi could see his friends talking in the corridor, walking towards the front door of the school. "But you won't have many friends with an attitude like that." Aromi's smile only sweetened then, but the sugar in his voice was poisonous._

_"You never cared about my attitude," Karma countered, but Aromi only turned his back to him and made to move out._

_"Incorrect," he stated, hooking his other arm into the strap of his backpack. Aromi's smile wiped off his face, and he stared Karma straight in the eye with full intensity. "I simply never cared about you."_

* * *

 

He was never sure whether it was a talent, to be treacherous from such a young age, or a flaw. Most would likely say the latter, but Aromi knew the advantages. Without them even noticing, Aromi was able to scare people into being his friend, and make their will bend to suppress each and every need he had.

Directness was stupidity, he thought. 

Although, gazing down on the nostalgia of photographed cheer, he realised that maybe directness was just what he needed.

* * *

 

_Neither Karma nor Aromi could be sure when it started; the bullying. It wasn't sudden, but instead subtle, and unfolded over the course of many months. Gradually, Aromi's opinions of his classmates changed, and so did he._

_It was just one day, he would talk to a close friend and get bored. He would be helping out a shy student with talking to a staff member at the school, and all he'd be able to think was 'wimp,' 'coward,' 'idiot.'_

_Strangely, the sweet feeling in his soul had turned sour, and it was hard to think why. Few things were wrong in his life, and he couldn't ever recall the feeling of anger. However, a feeling he knew all too well was disappointment, and longing. That feeling came back more and more when the bullying started and Karma left._

_But the bullying was strange. Aromi was never conscious of it; it just happened. He'd be walking with friends and then see a boy who had annoyed him that day. All of a sudden, his hand would be striking out, and the boy would be on the ground, quivering with a fear that had once been joy._

_Around him, people laughed. Some were hesitant at first, then more confident cheers joined, and Aromi's hand was reaching out for another hit._

_Then, the cheers faded away as the sky grew dim, and the only one who mattered looked horrified._

_"You're a bully, Aromi."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello this is me and i am trying
> 
> also, thank you for 5k reads! i'm sorry for not updating, and i'm not sure how regular updates will be in the future. please, if you have anything that you would like implemented into the story, tell me, because i'm running low on motivation right now.
> 
> and yeah, there's gonna be more backstory next chapter. i meant to end it this chapter and then have some karmagisa, but... it was hard enough to write this much. i hope you all can understand!


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